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The power of positivity

by EssaySnark 3 Comments

EssaySnark doesn’t want to get all metasophical on you or anything (yes that’s a word, we just made it up) but…

We have this one client.

He tried to get in last year.

He started too late, and he got bad advice, and he submitted some really lousy apps. And of course he targeted the very best schools.

(Oh wait – you’ve heard this story before? Yeah, so have we.)

So then he comes to us and wants help this year. And we go over a strategy and he’s bound and determined to reapply at some of those schools he bombed at before, and OK fine, we say it’s unlikely but go along with it, and we keep encouraging him to try elsewhere too. At other really good schools. Like UCLA Anderson.

(Maybe this kid is a little too big for his britches. LA isn’t good enough for him. It’s New York New York New York for this one.)

Whatever. He tries again this season, with Round 1 apps like he’s supposed to, and…

Here we are in March and he’s not been accepted anywhere yet.

And do you wanna know what we think the reason is?

(Besides the aforementioned too-big issue.)

This kid has lost the faith.

This guy has a screamin’ GMAT score, his academics are decent to good, he’s done the standard pre-MBA career track and his goals are in line with what we’d expect. He’s got some relatively OK stories to tell in his apps, nothing earth-shattering, but some above-average examples of having an impact and doing good. On paper he’s competitive with his peers.

And he’s not getting in.

If a Brave Supplicant finds him- or herself in this situation, then in our brutally direct assessment, there are two possible causes:

#1. The BSer is arrogant. Yes, we’ve detected a smidgeon of that in this dude, but, nothing extreme. However, if the arrogant vibe comes out too strong in an interview, it can be the kiss of death. Perhaps there’s some of that going on.

More likely though it’s:

#2. The BSer doesn’t believe. In fact, the BSer not only does not believe he’ll get in to bschool — he actively imagines and fears and fantasizes about not getting in. 

While EssaySnark does not have direct access to this kid’s thoughts, we are quite confident in our assessment that this is what the problem is.

This guy has gotten his confidence trampled, and now he believes the worst. He has decided that he is a bschool loser, and he’s doing all in his power to create that as his reality.

If someone is in this situation, if someone has convinced himself that he’s not gonna make it, if the underlying thought patterns are of doom and gloom in someone’s mind, well… sorry Charlie, there ain’t nuthin’ we can do.

Yes, we’ve tried the cheerleading rap, we’ve tried all the rah-rah and go get ums and all. There is NO REASON why this person should not be getting an offer (at least, for the schools he finally resigned himself to in Round 2, which were much more in line with where he should’ve been targeting from the beginning — yes, we’re now talking Kellogg instead of Harvard).

Sometimes, it just takes time. Some people don’t make it in the first time through, and they get up, brush themselves off, and try again. As long as you do that with clear eyes and a realistic plan, you WILL get in — eventually. There is room for everyone at the bschool inn, you just have to find your proper home. Swear to G., this is what EssaySnark believes.

And we will be there to help you. We WANT you to be successful. (At least, the non-arrogant, non-greedy, non-unethical ones of you.)

But we canNOT help at all if you do not believe in yourself.

As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

Ya gotta believe. If you don’t believe in yourself, nobody else can do it for you.

Beach or business?

by EssaySnark 4 Comments

The relaxing of some of the stiffer norms of business has been good for all of us. Many companies today aren’t all that concerned if you spend a little time during work hours surfing the web, reading the news, maybe on Amazon buying some new gadget that you want. Some places have really flexible work hours, where you can come in later or go home earlier, or work from home on a Friday. There are lots of benefits that have accrued from the casualization of the workplace.

There are also some risks in navigating these new waters. It used to be constricting and proper. Now it’s unfortunately too easy to slip and slide your way into embarrassment — and the worst of it is, you may not even realize you’ve messed up. In some workplaces, in an effort to be supportive and welcoming to the millennial worker, some managers are choosing to look the other way and not say anything. You could be bumbling along, making mistakes, and nobody is ever going to tell you.

What type of mistakes?

Well for starters, there is no business environment where flipflops and shorts are acceptable attire.

If your reaction is, “EssaySnark! That’s bogus! My company has a casual dress code! All the programmers wear shorts! You’re totally wrong on this one.”

Our reaction then is, “That’s not a business environment.”

A bunch of bros wearing their board shorts and hoodies are not conducting business. They may be AT WORK and they may be WORKING, but they are not doing business.

Do you want to be a professional?

You must DRESS LIKE ONE.

Here’s an excellent article from Stanford GSB on becoming the type of executive you want to be, by assuming an executive presence.

This is an attitude that must be nurtured (the professor who’s quoted gives a story about how, when she was early in her career, a mentor of hers found her crying, and cautioned her on how that would make others perceive her).

It comes out in how you carry yourself — do you stand up straight, and not slouch in your chair during meetings, no matter how boring?

It definitely comes out in how you present yourself through your dress. Do you put care and attention into your decisions in the morning before you leave the house? Are you sending signals of respect for your colleagues by paying attention to the basics of grooming (and hygiene)?

We’re not suggesting you need to go back to the ultra conservative norms of a three-piece suit for the guys or a skirt and heels for the ladies, or no open-toed shoes allowed, or you have to cover your tattoos. However, if the clothes you have chosen to wear to work today would be equally appropriate for a stroll on the boardwalk, then it’s not likely that they are truly professional.

Your attire matters. A **lot**.

There’s this advice that’s sometimes given to first-time home buyers: Neighborhood matters. It’s better to have the least desirable house on the block of the most desirable neighborhood, than to have the nicest house in a neighborhood that’s seen better days. We’re going to go for the opposite advice when it comes to dressing for work:

A bare-minimum level to aim for is to be the best dressed of your peers.

(In some companies, that standard is very low! If all your peers are wearing hoodies, then you need to go at least one notch higher.)

A better objective is to be dressed on par with your manager and those at his or her level of the organization.

If all of your peers are wearing jeans, then you should be in khakis on most days.

If your peers are wearing khakis, then you can go for dress pants.

In some smaller companies or startups, the CEO is the worst dressed of all. You should NOT emulate that person’s fashion. The leader of the company should be setting an example but if he or she is not attentive to such things, that does not mean you should make the same mistake. Don’t follow in the footsteps of the Slob in Chief.

All of this is especially critical when it’s time for your MBA interview. We know none of you would show up to an interview wearing shorts and a t-shirt.

However, your day-to-day appearance matters too. Even if nobody has said anything to you about it, it’s really not appropriate to be wearing flipflops or Tevas to the office. You will carry yourself better — and earn the respect of those you encounter — if you opt for more traditionally business-appropriate outfits. Even if your workplace is lax.

You don’t need to lie.

by EssaySnark 2 Comments

Despite the ridiculousness coming out of the American political establishment these days and the atrocious excuse for a role model1 that that makes: YOU DO NOT NEED TO LIE ON YOUR MBA APPLICATIONS.

Here’s a story from Air Force vet turned product marketer turned entrepreneur turned professor Steve Blank about how he was told to lie on his resume by a recruiter in the early days of his tech career.

You already know how EssaySnark feels about ethics, as in, applying to Columbia during their binding Early Decision option while simultaneously applying to Harvard (and conveniently not mentioning it to us — great way to make us remember you negatively forever): If you are planning to apply to Harvard, then you cannot apply to Columbia during Early Decision. Full stop, end of story, your application strategy is now decided. Columbia will be Regular Decision for you. This is not a question of strategy, it’s a question of ETHICS. Same deal with writing your own letters of recommendation. It may seem like the easy way to go, but it is completely inappropriate (aka unethical) and a massively bad idea.

Lying is in the same category. Besides the fact that it’s wrong2, it’s simply not necessary.

If you think lying on your apps is a trivial matter that does not affect anyone — especially when you see people in power lying blatantly on a daily basis with apparently no repercussions for it — we have to ask you to think again.

Lying degrades your moral core.

Lying works against the only system of trust and decency that we have as individuals interacting in this vast universe of uncertainty. It corrodes relationships.

Lying is disrespectful to the person you are lying to.

Lying is arrogant.

Lying is desperate.

Lying is cheating.

Lying is fooling one person only, and that person is you.

Maybe you’ll lie on your apps and you’ll get in. And then you have to go through life knowing that you lied, that you did not get in on your own honest merits.

If you’re a liar, then we can guarantee that it’s because you do not think highly of yourself. You most likely feel very poorly about yourself indeed. Do you think lying to cover up some perceived flaw will make that flaw go away?

No, it compounds the flaw. Now you have a known defect, and you have layered a lie on top of it.

You know you did it, and man that’s a lousy feeling to have. Plus, what if someone finds out?

You may think that lying is a victimless crime. No harm, no foul, right?

No. The victim is you. It affects who you are and makes you less honorable each time you do it.

What more do you have to carry through this life than your honor? What else is there if not self-respect and decency?

It doesn’t matter if you know someone who lied and got in. We’re talking about YOU.

We are up on a soap box because we care about such things, and we believe strongly that in order for the world to become a better place, that ALL OF US need to make a contribution to that, individually, in our everyday lives and the actions we take. Doesn’t matter where you fall on the political spectrum, it’s up to us as individuals to change the world.

Lying matters, because it’s your own individual stance. Are you choosing to operate with the truth as the foundation of your life? If not, what are you trading it for?

It’s kind of like John McCain’s3 speech to the Senate this week where he said this :

“I hope we can again rely on humility, on our need to cooperate, on our dependence on each other to learn how to trust each other again and by so doing better serve the people who elected us. Stop listening to the bombastic loudmouths on the radio and television and the Internet. To hell with them. They don’t want anything done for the public good. Our incapacity is their livelihood.” [emphasis added]

He was addressing his fellow lawmakers, but boy oh boy does EssaySnark appreciate the sentiment. To hell with them. Can we learn how to trust each other again?

Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do

After the election last November, we came across this on Medium, The Minister of Magic Gets a Briefing on Donald Trump :

If we believe in any sense of morality, and if we believe that freedom and a good life should belong to more than just the people like us, then we must go to their defense on principle.

In the ‘Snark’s small corner of the world, the currency is truth and honor and decency, and how you present yourself, and what integrity you hold. Those are our principles. What are yours?

 

While we’re stirring a random soup of ethics and politics today:

Darden professor Bobby Parmar published this (also on Medium): How to Disobey Immoral Orders where he analyzed a famous experiment from the ’60s where study participants were asked to inflict electric shock on people who gave the wrong answer on a test. Professor Parmar says,

“‘All of us are embedded in environments where we get conflicting orders, and often it’s not obvious what the right thing to do is,’ Parmar notes, citing recent scandals like that at Wells Fargo, where employees opened bank accounts and credit lines under customers’ names without their consent. ‘A lot of us are on autopilot.’ When you factor in a paycheck or status within a group, it can be easy to put on blinders.”

Don’t be on autopilot with your apps. Don’t be so freaked out by the hype around competitiveness in admissions, and so fixated on the prize of getting in to a great school, that you get into a mindset of the ends justifying the means. You don’t need to lie to get ahead in life. Lying is the opposite of authenticity.

We know that very few BSers would go into the process intending to lie. We’re also not talking about making honest mistakes, like messing up the dates of employment when you’re filling out your app forms.

Instead, lying often happens unintentionally, or you fiddle with a fact here, and then fiddle with a fact there on a story, and it ends up morphing to fit the feedback that you were given instead of being an accurate representation of what happened.

Don’t get so strung out by the stress of this experience that you rationalize or justify. Lying is a slippery slope. It’s like heroin. Once you start, where will you stop? Better not to start at all.

 

 

We try to keep this blahg neutral to politics. But every now and then, our truth seeps out. We feel strongly that the constant drumbeat of political ridiculousness happening today is dangerous because it desensitizes all of us to what is right.

We must always take sides (Elie Wiesel)

Elie Wiesel4

 

What is your truth? Where can you stand up for it in your life? Will you adhere to it and honor yourself in your apps?


1 Sorry but WTF?!? was this Boy Scouts thing this week??? OMFG have you no sense of protocol or tradition or appropriateness at all.
2 And oh yeah, the schools do background checks.
3 In case you are unfamiliar with U.S. politics, John McCain is a long-serving Republican Senator (same party as the President) who is often called a maverick for speaking out and staying true to his conscience, even when it’s not politically expedient for him to do so; last week he had surgery on his eye and was diagnosed with brain cancer, and he returned to the Senate for this speech and a vote on the health care legislation that his party is trying to get passed.
4 Holocaust survivor; for full info please see Elie Wisel Wikipedia page

 
 
 

ETA: This came across our twitterfeed today after this was posted and is so unbelievably perfect…

 
 
 
Update 7/31/17: This showed up referenced in the Tuck Dean’s weekly newsletter, the Slaughter & Rees Report , where they spoke of the importance of restoring trust to the White House. Link is to the book they mentioned. If you’re accustomed to lying about things, then you’re already actively contributing to a dysfunctional culture around you.

Five Dysfunctions of a Team


“Passion” is the most overrated word in MBA essays.

by EssaySnark Leave a Comment

Well, that and “the network.”

And maybe “business acumen.”

Here’s a great explanation of why “passion” is not the most important thing in your career, courtesy of (surprisingly) Mashable . They’re a little overenamored of their witty alliteration and use of other “P” words in their article, but they cite some respectable thinkers and the points they raise are valid.

We get BSers talking about their “passion” in their MBA apps All. The. Time.

And All. The. Time. it makes us roll our eyes.

If you don’t have time to read about why, then just take our advice today and don’t talk about “passion” in your essays.

If you want to read more, you can check out these prior posts on the subject:

And oh yeah this one too:

Did your parents write your college admissions essays?

by EssaySnark Leave a Comment

Well, they can’t do that now.

Hopefully you’ve matured beyond the point where your parents are doing everything for you. But in case you haven’t, then here’s a reminder:

Your parents cannot write your bschool essays for you.

If you’re so paralyzed by the thought of doing something for yourself, that you need to ask Daddy to help, then you’re not ready for bschool.

Or, if your parents are so overbearing and domineering that they think they know what’s best for you, and they insist to do things like write your apps, then it’s time to get a new set of parents sit down and talk to them. Set some boundaries, buddy. Take some control over your life.

Not only is it unethical, it’s just not healthy.

Hopefully they’re no longer wiping your ass when you take a crap, either.

 
 
For a kinder gentler version of this advice, we offer Sheryl Sandberg speaking at Stanford GSB:

 
 
 
You may also be interested in:

One tip for authenticity in your MBA essays: Don’t read other people’s essays

by EssaySnark Leave a Comment

When BSers get stuck on what they’re supposed to say in their essays, they frequently leave an exasperated comment asking for help. “Do you have a sample I can look at?” they ask plaintively, trying to keep the whine out of their words.

We cautioned against this recently when we talked about that “pizza essay” but it’s worth explaining again.

If you read other people’s essays – even “successful” ones that got into Harvard or wherever – you are running a huge risk.

If you claim that you don’t know what to write in your own essay, and you look at someone else’s essay as a way to figure it out, you won’t be learning what YOU should say. All you’ll be seeing is how someone else did it – and guess what? They may have gotten in even with crapload essays! It happens all the time, and the Stanford adcom warns about it.

If you feel stuck on what to write, then reading what someone else wrote will only give you an idea for how to copy them. It won’t let you express the facts of your own profile and history in any sort of authentic way. You won’t be able to help it; you’ll be influenced. It’s like walking down the street and you can’t get that Britney Spears song out of your head, and you don’t even know where you heard it. It’s just there. Maybe you picked it up in the elevator; maybe it was playing in the bodega where you bought your Red Bull. No idea. It just seeps in. You’re defenseless. Same with ideas from someone else’s essay. Once they’re there, they’re there. You won’t be able to help but to think that that’s how to write that particular type of essay.

And you’re also assuming that the person’s essay was halfway decent. Most essays aren’t. How can you tell the difference? If you don’t have a clue what you should write about, then won’t you think ANY essay is good? It has words on the page, and you don’t spot any typos. Must be a winner!!!!

You have to ask yourself: “Self, what is it I am hoping to gain by reading a sample essay?”

Can you answer that?

Are you looking for how they structured it?

Well, you don’t need a sample to tell you that – EssaySnark will tell you!

A well-structured essay has a clear intro, with the answer to the question in the first paragraph (or even the first sentence); it includes a body of a paragraph or two that backs up that answer; and then it ties everything up with a bow through a conclusion at the end. Voila. Now you have the answer to that question.

We suspect that that’s not what you are looking for, though.

You very innocently say, “No, ‘Snark, ya silly. I don’t care about essay structure.” (though you should!) “I care about what they wrote.”

OK, well, we got that covered too!

If it’s a career goals essay, start here.

If it’s a leadership and achievement essay, here.

If it’s any other type of essay, well, we’ve probably discussed those, too. Just wander over to the first page of the blahg and in the right panel you will see a dropdown that says Select Category. There are oodles of posts on most anything you dare to dream up, if it involves applying to bschool, that is.

We don’t post sample essays* and we won’t give you suggestions for what you should write for your goals. We pretend to give you a sample letter of recommendation in this post (but do we, really?). We don’t even give you a template in our Resume App Accelerator.

In our App Accelerators, we definitely do lay out a structured approach for how to present your background and stories, along with gobs of exercises you can go through to dig into your past and uncover the good stuff in your life experience and professional history that the adcom might be interested to learn about. Yes, it means rolling up your sleeves and figuring stuff out on your own, however in our experience, that heavy lifting of working through your own material is the only way to get there. If we could just tell you what to write, it would certainly make our job easier, wouldn’t it? But besides it being unethical, it’s also not in your best interest. If you want to be prepared and ready for the MBA, then one awesome way to make sure of it is going through this whole essay / introspection process. It may seem like an unnecessary hazing exercise that the adcom is putting you through, but it actually has benefits (beyond just serving as EssaySnark torture device).

Another huuuuuge risk with reading someone else’s essay is, you’re reading a finished product. You’re probably only interested in those “essays that got in!” right? Well, that’s going to represent the final version of what some applicant sweated over through round over round of revision last year. That’s what it takes to write a good essay, at least.

So you’re sitting here in No Essays Ever Written Land, feeling already overwhelmed and discouraged, and you decide to read a a Polished And Gleaming essay from the distant shore of I Got In! Hmm, yeah, we can see how useful that would be!

The New York Times recently had a piece about how social media makes us miserable . We even saw someone say something similar about LinkedIn recently.

Reading someone’s essay who already finished the process is like looking at pictures of super models in bikinis or buff bodybuilder dudes when you have only just decided to go on a diet. It’s not likely to be very helpful. Instead, it’s more likely to make you feel even worse about the shape you’re in. But there’s nothing wrong with the shape you’re in. You’re just at one end of the process. They’re at another. With time and hard work, you’re going to get there, too. And then you will be able to explain to all your friends who are trying for bschool in a subsequent year why it’s not going to help them to look at your essays.

 
 
 
This isn’t entirely true. We do post essays but those are always ones with pretty significant flaws that are posted with the BSer’s permission in order to offer comments (submit yours to be considered for such treatment here!); we also have one HBS essay contributed by a long-ago BSer who got in that’s made available as a teaching tool with the purchase of the Essay Ideas App Accelerator.

($) Considering applying to bschool now? DON’T.

by EssaySnark

Every year, we hear from a breathless Brave Supplicant all jacked up and ready to go, wanting to submit an application to bschool. For Round 3. (Or whatever the school calls its last round – we just mean the March/April deadlines that most full-time MBA programs use.) They just crammed through the GMAT (and usually…

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Maybe EssaySnark is just getting old.

by EssaySnark 1 Comment

When we see an innocent-seeming quote in a newspaper article, we try to cut the person quoted some slack.

Unless it’s an innocent-seeming quote that is also fully 100% ridiculous.

And also when it sounds like what we sometimes see in MBA admissions essays.

To wit, from a Washington Post news article about a new politically-focused chat website and this comment from its founder:

“What’s really cool about chatting is that everyone is doing it right now, and people are getting better at it,” says Andy Bromberg, the 21-year-old Stanford dropout and CEO/co-founder of the company. “If we started Sidewire 10 years ago, it wouldn’t be as effective because people wouldn’t really know how to chat.”

There were laughs with that one.

Then we read it again, and laughed some more.

When we first started this website, it was motivated by a desire to prevent applicants from making admissions directors laugh when reading their applications.

So we’re filing this under the “general tips” category – and also the “please don’t do this” one.

If you’re making a comment about the relevance of your product or service – or offering your opinion on why the world is ready for it – please don’t give us observations of how you believe the world worked when you were, um, 11.

For the record: AOL Instant Messenger was invented in 1997. When you were two years old. AIM is 19 years old now. Yes, people knew how to chat. (Yes, EssaySnark was on it then. See title of post. Also see that one from a few days ago.)

And just basically, please think about how what you are saying might sound to anybody who happens to hear it. (People didn’t know how to chat?!?? Or – waitaminit – you’re giving your expert opinion on the worldwide population of chatters, that they’re now getting better at it?!?? OMGreally?)

Especially if it’s going to be printed. Like, in a paper.

Or read by an admissions person.

 
 

(Probably also relevant: “Is there a bubble?” Because 21-year-old Stanford dropout CEOs.)

 

 

And OH YEAH THAT REMINDS US!

We’re around reading essays today!

Got essays needing review? You can submit them in and get the Super Speedy option and even get feedback this weekend!

($) We don’t know what you’re talking about.

by EssaySnark

Elections always provide so much fodder for us. We frequently post about what candidates say and do, as cautionary tales on what not to do with your apps. Like, are you likeable? from 2008. This election cycle has offered as much material as any. We posted about screwing something up, as demonstrated by some pretty…

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($) A warning about tone on “contribution” essays a la Wharton

by EssaySnark - Discusses

After we wrote this, we realized how much it may seem like the post that went up last week, talking about “that thing that BSers do in their essays.” But keep reading, BSer. It’s not. We keep seeing these very innocent Brave Supplicants trying to write essays for schools like Wharton, where they ask you…

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