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The dejection of rejection

by EssaySnark 1 Comment

Amidst all the high-fives and congratulations flying around lately, there have also been some very sad Brave Supplicants.

If you haven’t made it into bschool this round, you’re probably feeling pretty darned bad about things.

You’re probably beating yourself up. Feeling plenty of regret. Replaying the sequence of events and kicking yourself over one thing or another. It may even be on repeat, drumming into your head with the cruelty that only you know how to inflict on yourself that you’re a worthless loser.

None of that is true.

The despair that can set in when you’ve had your hopes up that something big and happy was going to happen, and it doesn’t, can really do a number on you. That’s especially true if you got invited to interview at a top school, and it might even be worse for those of you who are now on the waitlist instead of getting a clean straight-in admit. Sometimes, we hear from BSers who are waitlisted that it feels worse than if they’d been rejected.

Being waitlisted is kind of like the phenomenon of the Silver Medal Winner at the Olympics.

There’s this thing when a competitor gets second place where they often become REALLY unhappy about it.

You wouldn’t think that would happen. From the outside, you’d assume, “Dang, they’re good, they made it in second place!!!!” Like, no, they didn’t hit first, but they are the second best in the whole wide world! How awesome is that!

Turns out, it doesn’t feel awesome. Because the second-place winner gets tormented with all of the second-guessing in the world. They don’t get to feel proud of the fact that they are really really really good; they only get to feel the woulda-coulda-shouldas and if-onlys and other forms of regret and self-hatred and cursing of fates. Because if they’d just done THIS or THAT or THIS OTHER THING then it could’ve turned out differently. Instead of being proud of the performance, they have all these crappy thoughts about how they should’ve been able to do more to knock the winner off their perch.

Apparently this doesn’t happen with the Bronze Medal Winner. Apparently if you come in third place, you’re just thrilled to be on the winners’ podium at all. You feel grateful for making it in the top three. You see the reality of the two other competitors who did better than you and you know that you put in all that you could have, and you’re glad you came out with the bronze.

If you’re sitting here with no admits and only one (or more) waitlist offers at the end of Round 2, then please remember what we say all over the place: IT’S NOT OVER YET! You still have many months ahead where this could tip in your favor. The schools are using the waitlist quite liberally these days because there’s significant uncertainty in how their class rosters will be shaping up. (You can read through our Waitlist category to learn more of our analysis and advice for those in your shoes.)

If you’re sitting here with only strikeouts and no chances for any of your Class of 2021 apps at all, then we really do understand how disappointing that can be. If you know in your heart that you put in everything you could in all aspects of each app, from tests through to essays and resume and everything, and you still came up empty-handed, then the very basic assessment is that it was the profile or the pitch. That boils down to either a mismatch in your profile to the school you were targeting, and/or that the positioning of your message in the essays especially wasn’t done effectively. The fix for that in the coming season will be to either adjust your sights so that you’re aiming to an appropriate level of school (our Comprehensive Profile Review can help you determine the right match) and/or starting over with learning the skills of presenting you on the page in the essays you’ll develop (our Complete Essay Package is ideal for taking you through that learning curve).

Alternatively, if you’re sitting here with no options for the fall, and you know in your heart that you cut corners and rushed things and didn’t start early enough or for whatever reason could not prioritize the work needed on your apps, and ran out of time and slammed in some apps in a panic, then you’re likely to be beating yourself up the most.

You may expect us to be telling you now that yeah, that’s the outcome you should’ve seen coming. You may assume we’re going to chide you for being sloppy or doing all that procrastination, and that we’re going to add more reasons for why you should be beating yourself up at this point.

But we’re not going to do that.

Whatever decisions you made that got you to this point, those are over and done. You made the most of what you were operating with at the time.

If you had great intentions of putting together really strong apps last summer, and then work and family or maybe a blown-up relationships or whatever interfered with your ability to focus, and it didn’t happen the way you had planned, then fine. That’s what happened. You made the choices that you could in the moment that you had to make them. Even if you spent all of last summer playing video games instead of writing the essays you knew you had to write, please don’t hate yourself for doing that.

The person you are today is not the one who made those decisions; the person you are today does not deserve the suffering you are instilling on yourself. The person you are today is the victim of those unfortunate choices made before, but the person who made them does not exist. That person lives only in a past time that is no longer here. So don’t let that person continue to f_ck with you. They already did plenty of that. Don’t let them continue doing it now that their time is over and done.

You live here now.

You are the one who gets to live your life today.

Sometimes it takes a royal screw-up or some overly optimistic assumptions or playing a gambling game that doesn’t pan out in order for us to learn lessons.

If that’s what happened, fine. Now choose to learn them, and move on.

Beating yourself up about it is counterproductive and hurts no one but yourself.

It’s probably way easier for us to sit here telling you not to do it, than it is for you to actually redirect all that negativity, but we’re offering you the possibility of looking at things differently. If you feel bad about yourself, just ask yourself WHY you do. What is the thought that’s running nonstop through your head?

Identify that.

Is it: “I am a failure”?

Take that thought out of your head and look at it.

“I am a failure.”

Is that true? Look at everything in your life. Do the facts add up to support that assertion of failing?

Or maybe you’re thinking, “I am a loser” or maybe it’s “I’m never going to be anybody” or “I’m going to be stuck here and everyone is passing me by.”

Look at what’s underneath these feelings of dread or doom that is weighing on you like a blanket.

Write it down. What is the thought that’s fueling this horrible feeling?

Clearly articulate it — and then examine it.

Is that thought representing reality?

Is what you’re thinking something that’s honestly accurate, when you step back and look at it?

Try this process with the scripts that are running in your head. It often allows for an opening, a crack in the darkness where a beam of light can break in, and help soothe the worry and bring a modicum of peace.

If you haven’t gotten where you are trying to go, that only means it’s not yet your time.

Maybe this coming admissions season will be different, if you choose to make another go at bschools then.

Or maybe Life will take you in a whole new direction, if you let go of the attachment to this MBA thing that hasn’t materialized in your life.

No matter what, one thing is certain: You’re going to be just fine.

Anyone who’s ever in a position to try for a high-end MBA program is by definition a success story.

You’ve already got yourself to this point, through your smarts and determination and willingness to work. You have already achieved something, right where you’re sitting today.

Don’t lose sight of that.

Because of those skills and abilities that we know you already have, we also know you will continue on to a life full of good things. It’s inevitable.

It may not look like you thought it was supposed to.

But everything is taken care of, and you’re going to be okay.

There is nothing wrong with you.

by EssaySnark Leave a Comment

You do not need to be fixed.

You definitely do not need to be packaged or branded.

You don’t need to be spun, or promoted, or polished up to a shine. (OK, maybe you need a shower, but…)

The problem with this process of applying to business school is that it sends the signal that who you are now is not good enough.

Average GMAT score? Not enough.

Decent grades? Not enough.

You pour your heart out into your essays and you still get rejected?

Clearly the schools are saying, You’re not enough.

You’re not good enough.

You’re not talented enough.

You have not done enough interesting things.

But hold up.

Let’s look at this.

From our perspective, sitting on the snarky side of the fence, there are only two requirements for getting into a good MBA program:

1. You must be willing to work hard.
2. You must give yourself enough time.

If you’re rushing, it’s highly unlikely you’re going to have as much success in this process as you could if you’d not procrastinated the entire fall season away started on the process earlier and kept working diligently until it was done.

But guess what? You didn’t. You had noble intentions, but then Life got in the way, and you had trouble motivating yourself. You were probably THINKING ABOUT your apps nearly all the time since the summer, but you too often got faced with that demon of “ohgawdidontknowhowtodothisorwheretoevenbegin” and you flinched, and you escaped into Netflix again. And that’s what happened to the month of August, and September, and then again in November. That’s not a personal failing. All that is, is being overwhelmed by what seems like a monumental task (WRITING ESSAYS UGGH!) and then the pesky habit of Time took the months away.

When we boil this down, it actually ends up revealing itself to be #1 in disguise.

For most people, procrastination is not a sign that you are a loser. It does not even mean that you’re lazy. It’s just the simple human reaction when faced with fear of the unknown. The brain is wired to seek comfort; to run from risk.

Our ancient ancestors had a thought like this:

“Ooo look there’s a tiger!”

The human brain got deeply wired to react with:

“OMG GET THE F. OUT OF HERE!”

Applying to bschool is just our modern-day tiger.

You’ve set this very big goal for yourself — you want to go on the hunt! Shoot an animal for dinner! Provide for your family!

So you set out on the savannah to find an antelope or a buffalo or a wildebeest.

You make all the preparations. You sharpen your tools (study for the GMAT). You get ready for the expedition (take the GMAT). You learn about your prey and its habits (stalk the adcoms on twitter and facebook). It rains, so you adjust your plans (take the GMAT again). You have all your gear, and you’re committed to the task, and you head out onto the plains, and you scout your targets (decide on which schools to apply). You put yourself in position. You’re all ready to go, you’re going to definitely make a run for it now, and —

“Oh crap what is that oh sh!t no it’s a lion. It’s a lion? YES IT’S A LION RUN RUN RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!”

Well dang. That didn’t work like you’d hoped. Stupid lion. You tried for a gazelle. You end up nabbing a warthog. At least you’re not going to starve tonight.

You’re just super embarrassed when you have to go back to the village without the prize you went out there to hunt.

Talk about ruining your self esteem.

Talk about a great way to make you feel like a total idiot.

You talked up a good game, but when push comes to shove, what do you have to show for yourself?

F*ck.

Now you have to ask your recommender to do more recommendations. Now you have to admit that you failed.

We are here to tell you that you have not failed.

You simply have not succeeded yet.

Getting into bschool is about picking the schools that are right for you, and then working diligently on creating a set of application materials that present who you are authentically.

That is the secret to getting in.

It’s not about saying the right thing or figuring out a formula (except to the extent that yes, this is a competitive process, and things like GMAT and GPA do matter).

It’s not about coming up with the right wording that that school will respond to.

It’s about spending the time and effort to figure yourself out.

How do you know what schools to apply to?

You need to know yourself.

How do you write an essay that the school will respond to?

You need to know yourself.

What is the only fundamental requirement to make all of this happen?

You need to be willing to do the work.

Or really, a truer statement is, you need to be willing to go into the unknown.

Writing essays is facing the tiger. It’s saying, “No no no, I know your tricks. I know you’re just an oversized pussy cat.”

This is true in ALL things. In ALL of life.

Unless you’re someone who is literally hunting her meals on the plains every day. In which case, a tiger is actually a tiger, and we hope you will run from it!!!

But in modern-day life in the 21st Century, in the challenges that most of us humans are facing, the tiger is not really a tiger.

The tiger is only in your mind.

When your brain conjures up thoughts of “Oh sh!t I don’t know what to do, this is a very big project and the whole thing of me going out into the world and doing something this big and this important scares the holy eff out of me” then all of a sudden your brain is seeing TIGER!!!! when one doesn’t exist.

The only thing stopping you from getting into a great MBA program is your thoughts. If you are letting the fear of the tiger prevent you from doing the work that’s required, then let’s go back to square one:

From our perspective, there are only two requirements for getting into a good MBA program:

1. You must be willing to work hard.
2. You must give yourself enough time.

If you did not give yourself enough time, then with almost 100% certainty we can tell you, it’s because you let the FEAR OF the tiger get in the way.

There is no tiger.

You just imagined there is one.

And you reacted as any sane person facing a tiger would do.

So #2 is just that you got confused, and you let fear win.

So what about #1?

If you’re interested in an MBA then you have already been successful to some degree or another in life. At minimum, you have successfully completed college — which sounds basic, but remember, not everyone does that. You know how to work towards a goal. You know how to apply yourself and be productive. It’s also likely the case that you have taken the GMAT at least once and scored something decent, which again shows that you are able to put in the effort to achieve a purpose. You studied for the test (even if haphazardly) and you got a score that is in range for a top MBA program.

So right there, we have two datapoints to prove it. We know that you are CAPABLE of working hard.

Then what could the problem be? If you’re CAPABLE of working hard but you have not yet managed to get into a top MBA program, it boils down to:

A. You’re CAPABLE of working hard on other things, but you DID NOT REALLY work hard on your apps (you may have PRETENDED to work hard, by writing a few essays and sending them in, but you know in your heart if you REALLY worked hard on them or not). If it’s this, then it’s a problem of self-delusion. You fooled yourself. No big deal. We do that all the time, on all sorts of things! (“This first bite of Ben & Jerry’s tastes good! This second one tastes good too! I’m just gonna keep eating it!! [ 5 mins later…] Ugh I should not have eaten the whole pint omg this feels awful.”) The remedy? Work harder!!

Or:

B. The fear of the tiger got in the way, which is another way of saying, you weren’t WILLING.

When fear comes into your skull, it seems like there are no options.

You WANT to achieve this thing, but dang. Real life. Overwhelming. It’s too big.

Or whatever the fear-thoughts manifest as in your own specific incarnation.

If you got stymied by B — not being willing to work hard (which is another way of saying that you were deterred by the fear-thought, since we already have established that you WANT this for yourself, and you are CAPABLE of it) — then we have a trick for you.

You don’t have to know how to do it.

You don’t even have to know how to be willing to know how.

You just have to be WILLING to be willing.

If you’re reading this and it’s not making any sense, that’s OK.

But if you’re reading this and it’s clicking for you in some way, then good.

Most people reading this now are either in an egg nog stupor of celebration around the holidays and having already gotten into one of their top-choice MBA programs, and they’re simply still in the habit of reading the ‘Snark every day.

But there’s a whole slew of others of you who are coming here with a sense of dread and mild panic over all of the work to be done, and many doubts and insecurities about this whole process.

You don’t have to know how to get in. You just have to identify one thing to be done at a time, and go do it.

Maybe that means writing an outline. Just one. For one school. Map out your ideas. Put some structure to it.

Maybe it means figuring out your career goals, and making sure that they are detailed and specific enough.

Maybe it means re-examining your list of schools and making sure you’re tackling the right schools for you, based on the reality of your profile, that you really have a chance of getting into.

Maybe it means filling out the app form for one school. Or going back over the app and verifying and validating the data.

Do one thing. Right now. Be like Nike and just do it.

Then make a list of all of the others.

And when you’re feeling stuck, and overwhelmed, when staring at the screen full of words that you don’t feel are right and aren’t making any sense and you’re doubting whether any of it will work anyway. And you’re tempted to just close the whole thing down and go back to your WoW game. When you’re feeling discouraged — or just unable to tear yourself away from the party and go upstairs to work on the essay. Even though you told yourself that that’s what you were going to do this weekend, that you’d spend time with your family for awhile but then you were determined to make progress on your apps in the evening, yet here it is, “evening” and you don’t feel like doing it.

Just remember: THE TIGER IS NOT REAL.

The only thing you need in order to be successful with getting into bschool (or getting to any other huge major success in your life) is you have to BE WILLING.

You have to see that it’s your thoughts that are holding you back.

If you are WILLING, then you don’t need to know how to do it. You simply become open to trying.

If you don’t feel like you’re willing — if you feel like the fear of the tiger is too strong — then there’s a solution for that, too.

You just have to be willing to be willing.

Anybody can do that.

And please do not forget.

This process of applying to bschool — even when you’re rejected — this is not a referendum on who you are.

You are perfect. Already.

You don’t have to package yourself up into somebody else in order to get in.

You just have to do the work of uncovering who you are. And sharing that on the page in an essay.

And the only way to do that is to be willing.

A secret about school. (Any school.)

by EssaySnark Leave a Comment

You say you want an MBA, and we believe you.

But do you want an education?

Do you even know what they’ll teach you in the hallowed halls of Columbia or Kellogg or Cornell or whatever school you end up at?

You’ve read through the website enough to plug the name of a class into an essay to tell the adcom how much you want to go there.

But do you know what any of those classes are actually about?

Here’s a tip:

If you don’t, you may want to start learning!

Because if you make it through this arduous process and you land an admit or two, and you end up with your butt sitting in a business school classroom 11 short months from now…

Do you know what you’re in for?

We can guarantee you this:

If you’re only interested in bschool so that you can get the credential, so that you can have those three little letters “M-B-A” associated with your name, so you can get some plum job with a six-figure salary where you get to sit in meetings all day….

That’s fine, it’s not “wrong” and there are plenty of good people who think that way.

But.

If that’s your entire motivation and you have not thought through the whole possible scenario that involves things like studying and learning and hard subjects and tests then what you’re setting yourself up for is two years of h3ll.

Or at least, a solid one semester, and parts of another, and then a summer break in between where at least you’ll have an income again, and then another year of school that’s mostly electives and so shouldn’t be that bad…

But if you go into this only focused on that end result of having the fancy initials after your name (which honestly aren’t that impressive, you just are enamored of them now) and you forget the part about it being a CLASSROOM and maybe they even will force you to buy BOOKS though maybe not because these days books are overrated but who knows, and then you find yourself in a year sitting there staring at an equation on a white board and not understanding a single word that the professor has said in the last 20 minutes and wishing you actually had taken that class that you told EssaySnark yes you were going to take but hey you got in anyway so must not’ve needed it! Except that there’s all those Greek symbols on the board and you can’t remember which one means what.

And you’re not there because you WANT TO LEARN SOMETHING and expand your mind and get smarter and learn how the money supply is a lever of government and how interest rates work with inflation or what dual-entry accounting means and why it should matter or what the time value of money is and how it affects decisions and and and and and and and

If you’re unable to get motivated to push past the hard part of “OH HOLY F NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE WHAT HAVE I **DONE** I HATE THIS LET ME OUT” and actually do the WORK of learning…

You’re gonna have a rough go of it.

So.

All we’re saying today is that sitting on the “before” side of the picture where you’ve got this dream and you’re fixated on winning and it’s all you can think about and you’ve already done all this work and the GMAT is over and some essays were written and you clicked Submit on a number of apps…

And all the schools hype up their international travel and the culture and community and happy hour and how much FUN!! everyone has…

If you don’t find a way to get motivated on THE LEARNING as well then, well, we just don’t think it’s gonna be what it could be.

It takes a certain level of maturity to embrace learning for the sake of learning alone. Not all subjects are fun, and not all professors are interesting. Doing school full-time is a massive opportunity and what a luxury and an advantage, and a privilege to even have a quality of life that you can be considering it. You’re taking a break from Real Life for two full years to go focus on building yourself.

It’s not just the job and all the recruiters that will want you. It’s not just living in some fun new city for two years. It’s all of those things, but it’s none of them.

It’s what are you going to put into it?

That’s what you will get out of it.

And in order to know that, and be truly prepared, you need to know WHY you are doing this.

Is it just to coast through so you can get rubber-stamped and spit out the other side?

Or is it to LEARN STUFF?

We’ll tell you, LEARNING STUFF is hard. You’ve been out of school for awhile — and this is graduate school. This is no Intro to Econ or whatever.

Do you want to do it because you’re actually interested?

If you can’t say you’re interested, that’s okay too, but can you still motivate yourself even if you’re not?

If the answers to these questions are “Hmm” or “Never thought about it” or “Now that you ask…” then you may want to do some self-reflection. Be ready for what you’re pursuing.

Maybe even start by taking a class now. Like a practice one. To get in the groove, to remind you.

Were you someone who loved school so much that you were able to self-motivate for the thrill of it? The achievement of a good score on a test could make you hit the books like you needed?

Or was each class like pulling teeth and you were the clock-watcher scrunched down in your chair at the back of the room, praying you wouldn’t get cold-called?

Just be honest with yourself.

If you haven’t been in school for awhile, look to Coursera or some other MOOC to get back in the swing of things. Find a way to challenge yourself, if that’s not a habit you’ve had just lately.

Remember that what you experience in school (as in life) depends at least the orientation and attitude. It’s not just about showing up. It’s about doing the work.

When learning switches on it’s totally awesome and you get fired up, even if it’s a subject you don’t like. And when it’s resisted and you’re trying to just get by then it can be a nightmare of days. Either is your choice.

Just remember what you’re signing up for.

 
 
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This is what you don’t want to have happen

by EssaySnark Leave a Comment

In the world of bschools, leadership has been the byword for at least a couple generations now. Used to be, business school prepared you for management. The first business schools were created in the era of assembly lines and automation and they needed workers who were kind of like cogs in a machine; everybody needed to make sure everything else went smoothly. But then places like Harvard and Wharton and everywhere else elevated their game and said, “No, we need leaders in the world and we’re gonna task ourselves with preparing them.” And that’s been the focus since like the 1950s or so. And then in the 1960s and ’70s there were all these self-actualizing hippies especially out in California and lo and behold, Stanford started pushing personal development and interpersonal skills and all that touchy-feely stuff, and slowly that took hold and now you get empowerment type content at most every school out there. Heck, lots of bschools even teach mindfulness now!

And our new cultural era is about being happy at work. There’s a gazillion books out there, some in the Business aisle, many more in the Self Help section, all telling you how to be happy.

Full disclaimer: EssaySnark loves that stuff. 😉

There’s a Happiness Consultant on twitter (our term not hers) who posted this recently:

 
 
And EssaySnark must encourage you, at this important crossroads in your life, as you’re thinking about embarking on this very big adventure to mix things up and create change, and move from the path that you’ve been on, to a totally new path…

We need to remind you that you’re doing all this because on some level you’re not satisfied.

Right?

Whether it’s being dissatisfied with the basics like your level of income, or being dissatisfied with the direction you’re on and feeling like you’re stuck, or being wholly miserable because you work for the boss from h3ll and you want a way OUT…

Or maybe you’re so miserable working for that person that you’ve vowed to learn how NOT to be such a terrible manager, and that’s one reason you’re looking for bschool, in order to not repeat the mistakes of the past or inflict such misery upon any other person.

Regardless of the motivations, you’re looking to change.

You’re looking to go for a big jump, to improve your life.

You’re looking to go back to school and learn stuff.

Yay you!

Or…..

There’s also a possibility that you’re not.

There’s this chance that you’re only interested in the MBA because that’s what everybody else is doing and you figure it’s kind of expected.

Maybe you worked for two or three years in a traditional pre-MBA role in finance or consulting, and it’s a kind of up-or-out environment, and you’re not entirely confident you’re going to get an offer to stay, and even if you did, you know in your gut you don’t really want to, because you can’t stand the place…

Yeah, we’re back to not liking your boss. 😀

Hopefully the “I hate my boss!” feeling is only happening in a small minority of you, since that’s an awful mindstate to be working in and if you’re only starting the process of applying then most likely you’re going to be in that same place for another full year — in which case, we do hope you’ll take steps TODAY to fix the situation! (That’s a post for another time, though we have blahgged about it before, so we’ll try to dig up some reference posts for you to review now…. OK, here’s one semi-related, and this other one at least is coming from the same perspective… Basically if you can’t stand your boss, then there are things you can do to be proactive in making adjustments to how you interact with him or her, and being brave enough to have an honest-to-goodness conversation to find out the core of the issues between you… So that’s the tl;dr of how to deal with and now we don’t have to write another post on it, right?)

The reason for today’s post is it’s important to stay focused on the WHY of this project.

Not just now, as you’re coming up with your fancy schmancy talk about what are your career goals and why do you want an MBA that you’re planning for your maestro essays of brilliance.

We mean, as you go through each step of the process to keep reminding yourself of the WHY.

Part of this means not getting sucked up by the FOMO of bschool, which is often an instant recipe to lose your own core objectives and forget why you’re there.

It means not comparing yourself to everyone, and not going along with the crowd. If you know today you want do pursue ABC goals through the bschool experience, to not get sidetracked into the XYZ things that other people are doing.

It’s fine to change direction and adjust plans, and it’s totally okay if you end up throwing away all original intentions.

Just make sure you’re doing it intentionally, for a reason.

It would SUCK to end up another ten years down the road, looking around at another job that you truly hate, wondering how you got there and what happened to your life.

NOW is this incredible opportunity. You have this energy at your disposal and this interest in change.

Do some reflection. Ask yourself questions. Figure out what’s important to you.

Make adjustments as necessary but don’t sell yourself out as you go through this process.

If you don’t know who you are, start learning!

And don’t settle.

You don’t need to know where you’re going to end up in ten years. You just need to be clear on what you’re doing next, and why.
 
 
 

The Round 1 MBA Countdown is underway! If you’re thinking about applying to bschool this year and you’re not sure how to go about it, this is a great tool to keep you on track!

 
 
 

The power of positivity

by EssaySnark 3 Comments

EssaySnark doesn’t want to get all metasophical on you or anything (yes that’s a word, we just made it up) but…

We have this one client.

He tried to get in last year.

He started too late, and he got bad advice, and he submitted some really lousy apps. And of course he targeted the very best schools.

(Oh wait – you’ve heard this story before? Yeah, so have we.)

So then he comes to us and wants help this year. And we go over a strategy and he’s bound and determined to reapply at some of those schools he bombed at before, and OK fine, we say it’s unlikely but go along with it, and we keep encouraging him to try elsewhere too. At other really good schools. Like UCLA Anderson.

(Maybe this kid is a little too big for his britches. LA isn’t good enough for him. It’s New York New York New York for this one.)

Whatever. He tries again this season, with Round 1 apps like he’s supposed to, and…

Here we are in March and he’s not been accepted anywhere yet.

And do you wanna know what we think the reason is?

(Besides the aforementioned too-big issue.)

This kid has lost the faith.

This guy has a screamin’ GMAT score, his academics are decent to good, he’s done the standard pre-MBA career track and his goals are in line with what we’d expect. He’s got some relatively OK stories to tell in his apps, nothing earth-shattering, but some above-average examples of having an impact and doing good. On paper he’s competitive with his peers.

And he’s not getting in.

If a Brave Supplicant finds him- or herself in this situation, then in our brutally direct assessment, there are two possible causes:

#1. The BSer is arrogant. Yes, we’ve detected a smidgeon of that in this dude, but, nothing extreme. However, if the arrogant vibe comes out too strong in an interview, it can be the kiss of death. Perhaps there’s some of that going on.

More likely though it’s:

#2. The BSer doesn’t believe. In fact, the BSer not only does not believe he’ll get in to bschool — he actively imagines and fears and fantasizes about not getting in. 

While EssaySnark does not have direct access to this kid’s thoughts, we are quite confident in our assessment that this is what the problem is.

This guy has gotten his confidence trampled, and now he believes the worst. He has decided that he is a bschool loser, and he’s doing all in his power to create that as his reality.

If someone is in this situation, if someone has convinced himself that he’s not gonna make it, if the underlying thought patterns are of doom and gloom in someone’s mind, well… sorry Charlie, there ain’t nuthin’ we can do.

Yes, we’ve tried the cheerleading rap, we’ve tried all the rah-rah and go get ums and all. There is NO REASON why this person should not be getting an offer (at least, for the schools he finally resigned himself to in Round 2, which were much more in line with where he should’ve been targeting from the beginning — yes, we’re now talking Kellogg instead of Harvard).

Sometimes, it just takes time. Some people don’t make it in the first time through, and they get up, brush themselves off, and try again. As long as you do that with clear eyes and a realistic plan, you WILL get in — eventually. There is room for everyone at the bschool inn, you just have to find your proper home. Swear to G., this is what EssaySnark believes.

And we will be there to help you. We WANT you to be successful. (At least, the non-arrogant, non-greedy, non-unethical ones of you.)

But we canNOT help at all if you do not believe in yourself.

As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

Ya gotta believe. If you don’t believe in yourself, nobody else can do it for you.

($) If you don’t think you can do better on the GMAT

by EssaySnark

When talking about what score is “good enough” for getting into a top MBA program, we said this: If your score is somewhere in between a 700 and a 770 and if you think you can score higher on the GMAT… then we strongly encourage you to suck it up and make it happen. If…

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($) The hardest part of learning to write good essays

by EssaySnark

We introduced recently the model of The Four Stages of Learning. borrowed from illuminatedleadership.co — see EssaySnark’s discussion in our recent post   Today we will remind you that learning something new is hard. In the essay-writing process, Stage 2: Consciously Incompetent is very painful for many people. Why is that? It’s because you THOUGHT…

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($) More on Indians applying to bschool

by EssaySnark

Lots of you know from firsthand experience that it’s just harder for a qualified Indian candidate to get into one of the best U.S. bschools. It’s harder because all the schools are admitting something like 35 to 40% internationals — but that’s all internationals. If you’re an Indian American (meaning, a U.S. citizen of Indian…

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Dang, that was not very helpful.

by EssaySnark

In case you read yesterday’s rant post about when to time your waitlist updates to the adcom and felt like we were too much of UnsupportiveSnark and not enough of HelpfulStrategySnark, today’s post is for you. The BSer in question can totally make it into bschool – but given where we’re at in the current…

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Imposter Syndrome

by EssaySnark Leave a Comment

It happens.

The spike of adrenaline and rush of endorphines around getting an admit.

The frantic phone calls to family, and high-fives around the office.

All of that subsiding over the course of the next few days to a happy hum of contentment: YOU DID IT!!! You got into bschool! A top MBA program actually accepted you!!

And then…

Fast-forward a week or two, or maybe a month, or maybe it doesn’t hit until you get on campus for the excitement of Welcome Weekend (or Admit Day or whatever your school calls it)… And suddenly you start to feel oddly uncomfortable.

Maybe it first hits when you meet some kind of superstar admit like an Olympic athlete who’s now going to be going to this school, and then a White House aide, and then the next woman already has her own business that’s the top seller on Etsy. And you meet like 15 people in a row who work on Wall Street or McKinsey or Google. And pretty soon, you start to not look forward to new-classmate introductions, when you have to keep telling them what your job is.

Or maybe it happens when you overhear someone casually say that their company offered them a $50,000 raise if they’d stick around at their job instead of leaving for bschool… and your entire salary is only a little more than that right now.

Then the thought pattern starts:

“Wow, they’re all so much better than me.”

“Sheesh, it seems like everyone has a 770 GMAT.”

“Dang, how am I going to keep up with them?”

And then:

“I think the adcom made a mistake.”

BSer, please don’t let this thinking sabotage you.

What you’re experiencing is super common, and it’s something you’ll want to become aware of, and not buy into.

Your own thoughts can completely derail you – and all of those thoughts are NOT TRUE.

What this is describing is a phenomenon called Imposter Syndrome and it happens to lots of really successful people. Women may be more prone to it but it’s an equal-opportunity brainf@ck. It creeps in and takes hold of you, and it can make you absolutely miserable. If you’re not careful, it can suck the life out of you, taking away all motivation and making you feel worthless.

This post is to alert you of this phenomenon so that you can be on the lookout.

It’s natural.

It’s normal.

It happens to lots of people.

That Olympic athlete? Oh yeah, you betchya, they’re comparing themselves to everyone else and thinking, “Oh CRAP I’ll never survive here, what was I thinking, applying for business school?!???? I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT BUSINESS! I’m doooooooomed!!!!!!!!”

That entrepreneur chick? She’s probably sweating bullets about whether she’ll be able to afford bschool at all, given that she’s been on a shoestring salary for a year already, trying to bootstrap her business, and she’s nervous about every single happy hour where she has to pull out her credit card in front of everyone, in case it might be declined. She thought that the MBA might be her salvation to take this business to the next level, and now she thinks the whole thing might be yet another colossal mistake, especially when she hears about everyone else who wants to start a company through bschool, and their ideas seem so much better than this little thing she’s been trying to make happen.

That Wall Street guy? He’s feeling paranoid that he’s never going to be able to make it out of finance – which he hates. All he can think about is the competition he’s seeing, and how much better-positioned YOU are for the type of post-MBA career jump he’s trying to make.

Everyone is dealing with their own insecurities. Everyone thinks that everyone else is better than them. We can guarantee you, lots and lots of those super impressive future classmates you’ve met have been thinking the same kind of awe-struck thoughts about YOU and your incredible story as you’re thinking about them. It happens all the time.

The bottom-line truth is, if you were accepted to bschool — ANY bschool — that means you’ve done something right. You’ve worked hard and gotten somewhere in life already. You DESERVE the spot they’ve offered you in their incoming class. The adcoms do not make mistakes.

If this imposter thinking happens to you, please don’t let it take you out. Talk to your friends and family. Simply voicing the feelings and saying them outloud often dissipates their power. Maybe you can even laugh about it.

Or maybe the school did make a mistake, and your 700 GMAT looked like a 780 when they viewed it on their computer screen, and oh sh!t anydaynowtheyregonnacallyouupandtellyouitsallovernowyoureonthestreetgetouttahereyabum and your life will be in ruins.

Nah. Prolly not. You’re prolly safe from all that happening. 🙂

If you’re headed to bschool in the Fall, Congratulations, Brave Supplicant!! The rollercoaster-ride of MBA admissions is not yet over even once you have that admit in hand.