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Why you may want to keep coming back to the EssaySnark blahg even though all your apps are in.

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Here’s a Top 10 list of why this here site may still prove useful to you now even though you’re not a panic-monster trying to figure out what to write in your HBS essay.

  1. We’ll be posting stuff. Like, useful life stuff. Ponderings about what’s going on in politics and business and the world. Things that might get you thinking. And thinking is good. (Even though you try to avoid it.)
  2. Once the mad crush of Round 2 deadlines has passed, EssaySnark gets freed up to offer our hidden agenda to you all: How to live a better life. You’ll get some tips on optimizing this opportunity that you have walking the planet. You’re a go-getter, right? We have our own slant on how you might find happiness in this world. We’ll be sharing that, too.
  3. Oh yeah! Interview invites are going to come out in the not-too-distant future! We’ll be offering pointers and advice on how to prepare.
  4. Some folks are on the waitlist, and we’ve got some thoughts for how to maximize chances in that cycle.
  5. We’re assuming that you’re going to be headed to bschool in the fall, so we’ve got some thoughts on stuff like financial aid and planning your life to get ready for this jump off a cliff (though our Accepted Student’s Guide is available today if you’re looking for that advice now)
  6. We’ve already been fielding questions on “Should I choose School X or School Y?!???” from anxiously excited Round 1 BSer Successes and we expect to be adding posts on that category to help those of you navigating the very difficult decisions on which school to go to if you’ve been lucky enough to land multiple offers. (Update: Like this one!)
  7. And there’s Round 3! Some people have good cause to be aiming for more apps in the future. Even though it’s not really ideal.
  8. There may even be some analysis of business school trends, employment reports, what the recruiting cycle might look like at top schools this year, that sort of thing. You know, like MBA stuff.
  9. How else are you going to make the time pass waiting for the verdict on your Round 2 applications?

Drat. We could only come up with 9, not 10.

Oh well. We hope you’ll be coming back around here anyway.

The ‘Snark strives to be all things, a valuable resource of specific advice on how to craft winning essays for bschool, and a destination to go to when you really don’t want to be working and just need to veg out with some still-relevant and hopefully-practical content around getting to the next stage that you’re aiming for in life.

Still lots to say about all of that!!

Quick application dos and don’ts

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DO: Complete your app dataset early – it will take more time than you expect!

DO: Proofread carefully, including cross-checking dates and data across your resume and transcripts!

DO: Follow each school’s instructions, and don’t assume that the way one school does it is the same as how any other one will!

DO: Request a waiver for the app fee early if you qualify for one! This usually includes U.S. military (active duty and veteran) plus alumni from TFA, TFI, TFC, the Peace Corps, and a few others – check with your school!

DO: Ask admissions if you have a question! This year we’ve been spotting a high number of errors in different schools’ app forms. If something does not make sense, it could be a mistake — or, if enough applicants get confused by it, then it’ll be useful feedback for the admissions ops team, so that they can change the wording or add more instructions! Always ask if you’re unsure of what they want!!

DON’T: WRITE YOUR ANSWERS IN THE APPLICATION FIELDS IN ALL CAPS! IT’S LIKE YOU’RE SHOUTING AT THE ADCOM. IT’S REALLY ANNOYING AND THEY WON’T LIKE IT.

DON’T: Use exclamation points! They almost NEVER belong in an application or an essay! They just DON’T!

 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
School-specific tips are also available in My SnarkCenter! Enter your School Targets and then scroll down to see EssaySnark’s latest observations on common issues and some advice based on what we’re seeing others do with their essays this season.

Got any MBA app tips to suggest to your fellow BSers? LEAVE ‘EM IN THE COMMENTS!

Make Your Essays Great Again

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In honor of the founding of our great country of America, we offer you this broadcast from Snarkville today, Independence Day. We hope you’re out there having barbeques and picnics and parades, all American Brave Supplicants! The Fourth of July is traditionally our YOU NEED TO GET STARTED ON YOUR ESSAYS, STAT!! milestone, however you can knuckle down on all of that stuff tomorrow. For today, enjoy the fireworks! And we will leave you with this little speech, adapted and modified from its source , which seemed appropriate in honor of the season.
 

Chief Justice Roberts, President Carter, President Clinton, President Bush, President Obama, fellow Americans, and people of the world: Thank you.

We, the citizens of Snarkville, are now joined in a great national effort to rebuild the essays and to restore their promise for all Brave Supplicants.
Together, we will determine the course of your essays and your apps for the season to come.

You will face challenges. You will confront hardships. But you will get the job done.

Every July Fourth, we gather on these steps to say the same thing: Get started on your essays.

Today’s ceremony, however, has very special meaning. Because today we are not merely transferring knowledge from one snarky blahgger in Snarkville out to the anonymous internet, but we are transferring knowledge to this computer screen, and giving it to you, the Brave Supplicants.

Starting right here, and right now, this moment is your moment: it belongs to you.

It belongs to everyone gathered here today and everyone watching all across Snarkville. This is your day. This is your celebration. And this, the United Snark of America, is your country.

What truly matters is not which school you choose to apply to, but whether those schools are excited by your essays. July 4th, 2017, will be remembered as the day that you became the ruler of your MBA app strategy. The forgotten BSers of our country will be forgotten no longer.

Adcoms want great applications for their schools, good GMAT scores for their classes, and good students for themselves. These are the just and reasonable demands of a righteous admissions office.

But for too many of our BSers, a different reality exists: Poorly written essays shoot down their chances. Unclear messaging clogs their drafts. Two-page resumes make the adcoms groan.

This essay carnage stops right here and stops right now.

We are one Snarkville — and BSers’ pain is our pain. Their dreams are our dreams; and their success will be our success. We share one heart, one home, and one glorious destiny.

The oath of office we take today is an oath of allegiance to all Brave Supplicants.

From this day forward, a new vision will govern your apps.

From this moment on, it’s going to be Good Essays First.

Every decision on schools, on stories, on examples, on optional essays, will be made to benefit your app strategy. We must protect our applications from the ravages of other readers reading them, making bad suggestions, swaying our judgment. Protection will lead to great prosperity and strength.

Reapplicants will start winning again, winning like never before.

We will build new strategy guides, and blahg posts, and App Accelerators, and Essay Decimators, all across our wonderful website.

We will get Brave Supplicants off of Facebook and back to work — rebuilding their essays with their hands and their labor.

We will seek friendship and goodwill with the adcoms of the world — but we do so with the understanding that it is the right of all BSers to put their own interests first.

We do not seek to impose our way of snark on anyone, but rather to let it shine as an example for everyone to follow.

At the bedrock of your essays will be a total allegiance to the Strategy of Authenticity, and through our loyalty to being honest, we will discover that yes, you are good enough to get in. With better essays.

We must speak our minds openly, debate our disagreements honestly, but always pursue solidarity.

When Snarkville is united, Brave Supplicants are totally unstoppable.

Finally, we must think big and dream even bigger.

We will no longer accept BSers who are all talk and no action — constantly complaining but never doing anything about it.

The time for empty talk is over. Now arrives the hour of action.

Do not let anyone tell you it cannot be done. No challenge can match the heart and fight and spirit of BSers.

We will not fail. Your applications will thrive and prosper again.

We stand at the birth of a new season, ready to unlock the mysteries of essay prompts, to free the adcoms from the miseries of bad writing, and to harness the energies, industries and technologies of tomorrow.

So to all BSers, in every city near and far, small and large, from mountain to mountain, and from ocean to ocean, hear these words: You will never be unprepared again.

Your voice, your hopes, and your dreams will define your MBA destiny. And your courage and goodness and love will forever guide us along the way.
Together, we will make your essays strong again.

We will make essays wealthy again.

We will make essays proud again.

We will make essays safe again.

And yes, together, we will make your essays great again. Thank you. God bless you. And God bless America.

 
 
 

In case you can’t tell by this ridiculous post, Team EssaySnark is off for the U.S. holiday today. Be safe!