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Probably the most common response is “But why?”

March 24, 2021 by EssaySnark Leave a Comment

When your application to grad school is rejected, it can be a seriously confusing moment.

Probably the most common reaction is, “But wait… Are you sure? I thought you were going to accept me!”

Yes, you hear about how “competitive” these programs are, and how “selective.” You hear that they received more applications this year than ever before. You consciously know these factors that go into it.

And yet, you get the news that you weren’t one of those who made it in, and your natural reaction to that is, “But… What? Really?”

You may even want to write back. You may be reviewing the actual events that you experienced — the work you did on the essays; the recommendations you made sure would be strong; the attention you put into the app, in dotting the I’s and crossing the T’s and proofreading and proofreading again.

Maybe you got to the interview phase, and you thought you had a rapport with your interviewer. You didn’t stumble on any of the questions.

You sent “thank you” notes after.

And then, many weeks later, here you are, reading an email that says, “We regret to inform you that…”

It’s a surreal experience, for sure.

It may cause you to question your sanity!

After all, you thought everything was lined up perfectly! You thought you were a shoe-in at this point!

You thought you would be checking the right boxes for them — whether due to your high GMAT or GRE score, or the fact that you’re from an underrepresented pool, or that you have top-notch experience in an important sector like consulting, or private equity, or on the international stage.

And yet here you are, reading an email that says, “Sorry.”

It can be disorienting, for sure.

What do you do with this? How do you process it? Where do you put this emotion? How do you handle this news?

We don’t really have any good answers for that. It’s an experience you just have to go through.

What we can say is that, yes, this HAS been a competitive season. Even though it FEELS incredibly personal, that they’re rejecting YOU as an individual, it in reality does not work quite like that. It’s about them finding the right candidates to their program, and in that respect, it’s more about finding the right raw materials to feed into the machine. (A not very humanizing way to look at it, but in terms of systems analysis, probably more accurate of a characterization.)

One thing that won’t help you: Please resist the urge to reach out to the school and ask them that question. Don’t send the admissions team a “Wait, but why??” email. It won’t get you any closer to your goals.

We actually recommend not taking any actions at all. At least, not for awhile. Let this experience settle before you do anything. You won’t necessarily be seeing it clearly at the beginning.

Sending emails now may turn into regret later on.

It’s unlikely that they made a mistake — no matter how much it seems to you right now that that must have been the case. Sending an email questioning the decision or objecting to it is not doing to help you. Just sit on your hands, and process the feelings, and experience what is happening to you right now.

Is it fun? Nope, probably not. Is it part of the process? Apparently, yes, at least for you. This is what is occurring.

Actions taken now may not be useful in the grand scheme of things, so don’t act. Just experience. Just sit with it and let what happens be what happens for now.

If some Round 3 apps are in the picture for you, those opportunities will still be available tomorrow.

For now, yes it’s disappointing, but it’s not a rejection of you as a person. It’s just that now is not your time for this exact opportunity, yet know that others will come along. This world is full of opportunities. Not all of them are ripe for you and your destiny, but the ones that are will be here waiting when it is time.

 

Filed Under: rejection

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From a BSer January 2020:
"love the guide books!"


CLASS OF 2023 MBA APPLICATION STRATEGY GUIDES

     
    The 2020 Berkeley-Haas MBA Application Guide - updated for the Class of 2023 application!
SnarkStrategies Guide for Berkeley Haas - refreshed and updated, with brainstorming exercises and structured maps to help you focus your stories!
   
    The 2020-2021 NYU Stern MBA Application Guide that covers the main essay, the EQ Endorsement and Pick Six!
SnarkStrategies Guide for NYU - discusses your requirements for the Class of 2023 essays!
   
    The 2020-2021 Columbia MBA Application Guide
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    The 2020 Harvard MBA Application Guide - completely overhauled and updated for the coronavirus era!
SnarkStrategies Guide for Harvard Business School!
   
    The 2020-2021 Duke Essay Guide - covers the 25 Random Things essay and all the rest too!
SnarkStrategies Guide for Duke Fuqua - up to date for the current season!
   
    The 2020-2021 MIT Essay Guide covers the org chart, the contacts for two references, and additional tips for the cover letter and 'introduce yourself' video -- and everything else you need to know!
SnarkStrategies Guide for MIT Sloan MBA - totally revised for the Class of 2023!
   
    The 2020-2021 Tuck Essay Guide has been refreshed with latest insights and advice for your essays about "investing generously" and "why Tuck"!
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    The Yale SOM MBA Application Guide for Class of 2023 candidates!
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    The 2020-2021 Chicago Booth MBA Application Guide - ready to go to support your Class of 2023 essay strategy!
SnarkStrategies Guide for Chicago Booth for this year's MBA app!
   
    The 2020 Wharton MBA Application Guide - even more advice on how to get to a win with those essays!
SnarkStrategies Guide for The Wharton School - with new tips for 2020!
   
    The 2020 Kellogg Essay Guide - with a full methodology to identify your 'lasting impact' and your 'values' -- plus tips on 2020 world events and applicability to your essays!
SnarkStrategies Guide for Kellogg MBA - updated and revised for the new realities of 2020!    
      The 2020 Stanford MBA Application Guide - for "what matters most" in your MBA application!
SnarkStrategies Guide for Stanford GSB for the Class of 2023
   
    The 2020-2021 UCLA Anderson MBA Application Guide - updated for Class of 2023 on "impact"!
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  • 2020: ($) Coronavirus and the MBA: Kellogg changes the game
  • 2019: Is your GMAT good enough?
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  • 2015: ($) Continued from yesterday: When will Harvard release their MBA app? And which app should you do first?
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  • 2014: Bschool is all about food.
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