We could have Tone posts to infinity but we’ll probably leave it at just these two for now.
Here’s another aspect to tone:
(That may be easier for some of you than others….)
This is another very innocent mistake that you might make — and, OK, as with these other points of tone and messaging, it’s not actually a ‘mistake’ but it definitely affects the reader’s experience of your pitch!!
This is always on ‘why MBA’ essays.
Here’s an example:
“Given what I’ve learned from Joey about the classes she and her classmates are taking, I now know how much I will be part of the thriving entrepreneurial ecosystem at Berkeley Haas.”
Again, there is nothing technically wrong with this sentence. However, imagine you’re the adcom reader who’s reading it. Wouldn’t it sound better for an applicant to say “how much I would be able to ” immerse yourself at their school?
You have not been admitted yet! Be careful of being too forward with statements that imply you believe that you will be. When talking about how you’ll get involved on campus or why you value the school, the verb “will” works in some sentences, but in others, it may need to be softened in order to offer the right tone.
These are only issues that you can manage in your essays when you’re on about Draft #486.
It’s highly unlikely you will get them down in draft #1 or 2. You shouldn’t even be worried about them too much at that stage.
You don’t want to be in the endless loop edit cycle of wordsmithing and correcting each individual sentence or phrase when you’re just trying to get your thoughts on the page.
This is what rewrites are for.
This is where polishing comes in.
Get your essay content down first. Then write it again. Then step back and make sure you’ve answered the question, and the logic of your argument is sound.
Then consider sending it to EssaySnark for first review.
We will certainly call out issues like tone and messaging in our remarks on your draft. We’ll do that on the first draft, and again on the second if they’re still happening there. It’s OK for you to have these issues in your work initially.
Over time, though, and with multiple revisions, you’ll want to become sensitive to this.
It’s a matter of sensing how your words come across to your audience.
This type of care is where the best essays are developed.
Writing good essays is not about fancy prose or sophisticated sentences, or complex words used when simple ones will do.
It’s about clear writing that conveys your ideas in an easy-to-digest manner, that makes it easy for your reader to pick up what you’re laying down.
And it’s about coming across as a Real Person, who is excited by the opportunities available from the MBA at this school. Who has done the research, and shows that they care, and gives a sense of, hopefully, humility, along with the evidence of being a superstar that you’re trying to convey.
Not an easy task. But we know you can get there! It’s just about sweating the details, and putting in the work.
Wanna know if your writing has the proper tone to carry your essays? Our Essay Decimator review gives you objective feedback on how you might be coming across to an adcom reader!