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($) Tone Part 2

December 5, 2017 by EssaySnark Leave a Comment

We could have Tone posts to infinity but we’ll probably leave it at just these two for now.

Here’s another aspect to tone:

Don’t be presumptuous!

(That may be easier for some of you than others….)

This is another very innocent mistake that you might make — and, OK, as with these other points of tone and messaging, it’s not actually a ‘mistake’ but it definitely affects the reader’s experience of your pitch!!

This is always on ‘why MBA’ essays.

Here’s an example:

“Given what I’ve learned from Joey about the classes she and her classmates are taking, I now know how much I will be part of the thriving entrepreneurial ecosystem at Berkeley Haas.”

Again, there is nothing technically wrong with this sentence. However, imagine you’re the adcom reader who’s reading it. Wouldn’t it sound better for an applicant to say “how much I would be able to ” immerse yourself at their school?

You have not been admitted yet! Be careful of being too forward with statements that imply you believe that you will be. When talking about how you’ll get involved on campus or why you value the school, the verb “will” works in some sentences, but in others, it may need to be softened in order to offer the right tone.

Tone.

Positioning.

Messaging.

These are only issues that you can manage in your essays when you’re on about Draft #486.

It’s highly unlikely you will get them down in draft #1 or 2. You shouldn’t even be worried about them too much at that stage.

You don’t want to be in the endless loop edit cycle of wordsmithing and correcting each individual sentence or phrase when you’re just trying to get your thoughts on the page.

This is what rewrites are for.

This is where polishing comes in.

Get your essay content down first. Then write it again. Then step back and make sure you’ve answered the question, and the logic of your argument is sound.

Then consider sending it to EssaySnark for first review.

We will certainly call out issues like tone and messaging in our remarks on your draft. We’ll do that on the first draft, and again on the second if they’re still happening there. It’s OK for you to have these issues in your work initially.

Over time, though, and with multiple revisions, you’ll want to become sensitive to this.

It’s a matter of sensing how your words come across to your audience.

This type of care is where the best essays are developed.

Writing good essays is not about fancy prose or sophisticated sentences, or complex words used when simple ones will do.

It’s about clear writing that conveys your ideas in an easy-to-digest manner, that makes it easy for your reader to pick up what you’re laying down.

And it’s about coming across as a Real Person, who is excited by the opportunities available from the MBA at this school. Who has done the research, and shows that they care, and gives a sense of, hopefully, humility, along with the evidence of being a superstar that you’re trying to convey.

Not an easy task. But we know you can get there! It’s just about sweating the details, and putting in the work.
 
 
Wanna know if your writing has the proper tone to carry your essays? Our Essay Decimator review gives you objective feedback on how you might be coming across to an adcom reader!

Filed Under: "why MBA" essays, writing tips

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We're the snarky experts in MBA admissions!

Sometimes amused and often appalled by what candidates write in their MBA applications to top bschools, EssaySnark created this little blahg to share common mistakes. Learn from them and avoid making admissions directors laugh (or want to hurl) when they read your essays. If you are hoping to have your essay reviewed anonymously on the blahg for free, submit it for consideration.

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From a BSer January 2020:
"love the guide books!"


CLASS OF 2023 MBA APPLICATION STRATEGY GUIDES

     
    The 2020 Berkeley-Haas MBA Application Guide - updated for the Class of 2023 application!
SnarkStrategies Guide for Berkeley Haas - refreshed and updated, with brainstorming exercises and structured maps to help you focus your stories!
   
    The 2020-2021 NYU Stern MBA Application Guide that covers the main essay, the EQ Endorsement and Pick Six!
SnarkStrategies Guide for NYU - discusses your requirements for the Class of 2023 essays!
   
    The 2020-2021 Columbia MBA Application Guide
SnarkStrategies Guide for Columbia Business School for 2020-2021 applications
   
    The 2020 Harvard MBA Application Guide - completely overhauled and updated for the coronavirus era!
SnarkStrategies Guide for Harvard Business School!
   
    The 2020-2021 Duke Essay Guide - covers the 25 Random Things essay and all the rest too!
SnarkStrategies Guide for Duke Fuqua - up to date for the current season!
   
    The 2020-2021 MIT Essay Guide covers the org chart, the contacts for two references, and additional tips for the cover letter and 'introduce yourself' video -- and everything else you need to know!
SnarkStrategies Guide for MIT Sloan MBA - totally revised for the Class of 2023!
   
    The 2020-2021 Tuck Essay Guide has been refreshed with latest insights and advice for your essays about "investing generously" and "why Tuck"!
SnarkStrategies Guide for the Dartmouth Tuck MBA - completely overhauled for 2020, to help you demonstrate how you are nice, aware, etc stuff!
   
    The Yale SOM MBA Application Guide for Class of 2023 candidates!
SnarkStrategies Guide for Yale SOM - updated for 2020-2021
   
    The 2020-2021 Chicago Booth MBA Application Guide - ready to go to support your Class of 2023 essay strategy!
SnarkStrategies Guide for Chicago Booth for this year's MBA app!
   
    The 2020 Wharton MBA Application Guide - even more advice on how to get to a win with those essays!
SnarkStrategies Guide for The Wharton School - with new tips for 2020!
   
    The 2020 Kellogg Essay Guide - with a full methodology to identify your 'lasting impact' and your 'values' -- plus tips on 2020 world events and applicability to your essays!
SnarkStrategies Guide for Kellogg MBA - updated and revised for the new realities of 2020!    
      The 2020 Stanford MBA Application Guide - for "what matters most" in your MBA application!
SnarkStrategies Guide for Stanford GSB for the Class of 2023
   
    The 2020-2021 UCLA Anderson MBA Application Guide - updated for Class of 2023 on "impact"!
SnarkStrategies Guide for 
UCLA
   
   

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