In our recent post this week, go back and read How to add greater value at work we offered a technique for you to deploy at work to help you find new ways to contribute. If you haven’t read it yet, go back and do that.
And please don’t forget to come back here, too. Because we need to issue an important caution:
We know what some of you are like. We know how the High Achiever brain is often wired. We know that many BSers will hear advice to “reflect” and they may interpret that advice to mean “find new ways to tell yourself you’re an idiot.”
That is not what we mean.
We are not suggesting this reflection technique as a new way to beat yourself up. We know that some of you have a very cruel voice going on inside the head 24/7, always looking for ways to self-criticize. If you already have an overblown tendency to tear yourself down and cause yourself grief over all your perceived flaws and mistakes, then use caution here. If we’re describing your internal experience of self-criticism right now, then this entire assignment needs to be taken from the perspective of, “You’re only allowed to say positive things.” Just like your mom used to say, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” If you have a tendency of self-attack then please don’t use this to fuel that fire. If you catch yourself beating yourself up over something, turn it around into a positive. Find a way to identify what you did well.
Don’t get out of hand with focusing on negatives. It will destroy you, and you’re an accomplished and worthy BSer who doesn’t deserve that sort of treatment from anybody. Especially not from yourself.
If you would never say such things to another person because they’re way too mean, why do you allow yourself to say such things to yourself?
Go forth and prosper, BSer. Do it with kindness.
And find new ways to make an impact along the way.