OK so, if you’ve been coming around here any length of time, you know that some stuff bothers us.
Like, overfocusing on brand and ranking when you’re choosing the bschools you want to apply to.
Like, neglecting good manners and not saying ‘thank you’ when someone does you a kindness.
Like, ohdunno like several dozen other things you’ll hear us griping about on a regular basis here on the blahg.
Well, here’s one that we’ve been stewing over for ages – years, really – and we’re finally going to post about it because even though it does not directly affect the BSer’s process of applying to bschool, it may come up for some of you – and heck, this is our blahg so we can rant about whatever we want to.
Today’s snarky issue is,
Why in heck do people say “Pay it forward” when they mean “Pay it back”?!????
You remember of course when the whole concept of “pay it forward” first emerged on the scene. It was that movie, you know the one, with the kid?
No, not Macaulay Culkin and Home Alone. The “I see dead people” kid.
Yeah, right. Him.
Haley Joel Osment.
(Hmm, wonder what happened to that guy?
Anyway, he had that OTHER movie called, what was it?
Oh yeah.
PAY IT FORWARD.
And the whole premise of the movie is about doing random nice things for total strangers JUST BECAUSE.
You’re alive on this earth, and that alone is a reason to do stuff for others.
So you pay it forward.
You act when you don’t have to.
You make a gesture with the Universe.
You try to help. Not because you have to. Not because you have a debt to repay. Not because anybody is watching or cares. Because it’s your aesthetic.
You’re definitely not doing it because of what others have done to help you.
You’re doing it because it’s your nature. It’s who you are.
AND YET.
We see all these earnest BSers talking about how they have gotten such blessings in life, how they’ve been helped by mentors and the kindness of others, and they want to pay it forward.
Errrm, no.
You want to pay it back.
There’s nothing wrong with that.
There’s no less nobility in paying it back.
That doesn’t discount the value of what you’re doing in any way.
It’s just not PAYING IT FORWARD.
To pay it forward is to, like, do something because it’s what you do. Do something because you care. Do something regardless of what’s been done to you.
It has nothing to do with resetting the scales, or balancing things out, or telling the universe you’re grateful.
(OK, maybe it does have something to do with that, but more on a macro scale – not a micro one. It’s not about scorekeeping. It’s about who you are.)
OK, rantover. You get the point.
And we know that this is yet another snarkism.
This is clearly not how others see the phrase.
Plenty of people out there are perfectly fine with the idea of “pay it forward” to mean, making an effort to help someone else because that’s what someone did for you.
No problem. We can roll.
But we do have to point out: IT’S NOT THE SAME.
This may come down simply to our obsession with language. We care about clarity, and precision. We work very hard to say what we mean – and we work hard to coach others to do the same.
Clear words, clear writing – that means there’s clear thinking. These things are related.
If you mean sortathesamething, yeah, OK, you’re in the ballpark.
But please know that if we read that phrase in your essay, we gonna balk.
Nobody is really all that selfless (or very few of us are). Call it what it is. “Pay it back” is perfectly fine and equally noble – and more accurate.
We dig on accuracy.
It’s just how we’re wired.
liveforlaughs76 says
No offense but this rant is pretty misinformed. Pay it forward as a concept predates the movie and your description of both the movie’s premise and the common understanding of the phrase are incorrect. Paying it forward simply means you are benefitting people different than the ones who benefited you. It has nothing to do with inherent altruism and is in fact a debt of gratitude one is repaying, although as you say that makes the action no less noble. Wikipedia is a terrible source but it should suffice to demonstrate my point: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pay_it_forward
Anyway, do love the blahg but felt like it would be worth pointing this out lest any ignorant BSers take this incorrect advice as gospel and muck up their essays as a result.
essaysnark says
Aw shucks, we like our version so much better! 🙂
Thanks for pointing this out – it still remains a snarky pet peeve, however!
Definitely appreciate the comment!
giantasparagus says
That’s the way I understood it as well, paying it forward being the opposite of paying it back – the cliche scenario coming to mind is you order a coffee and realize you forgot your wallet, and the person behind you covers your bill and refuses repayment, instead asking you to use the money the next time someone in front of you is short on cash.
You are still repaying a debt, the difference is your creditor wants the money directed somewhere else. The selfless, altruistic person is the original person who lent you the money and expected nothing in return.
This only works if the party you want to help is not the same one that helped you. E.g., if a specific HBS alumnus/a helped you get a job, you can pay it forward by helping a different HBS alum, but if HBS helped you, you can’t pay it forward by helping HBS in return; that would be paying it back. The latter is a mistake I’m sure many BSers make.
essaysnark says
Apparently EssaySnark doesn’t take quite such an accountant’s view of things! 😀
If only everyone had the attitude in life of just giving when they can. (sigh)
We’re gonna stick to our preferred definition of what “pay it forward” could mean. Definitely appreciate that we’re an outlier on this one now though! Thanks for the additional explanation, giantasparagus!!!
EssaySnark