You’ve seen ’em. On all the forums. Some intrepid wanna-be MBA applicant posts their profile and asks for people to tell them if they’ve got a chance.
It goes something like this:
My profile at a glance:
GMAT : 740
Experience : 6 years
GPA : 6.71/10
Current company: [irrelevant and unrecognizable company name redacted]
Application key areas:
I have a lot of experience with Sports and have co funded a badminton club in Bangalore which offers training for kids and membership for adults. Took a break for 2months from regular work to study various factors before starting the club. Involved with several clubs and prestigious tournaments held in Bangalore. Even have a strong affiliation with Indian national coach Vimal Kumar. Involved with [irrelevant and unrecognizable name redacted] academy as a graphic designer. Visited [irrelevant and unrecognizable name redacted] Badminton academy to study best practices in training and running a club.
Enthusiast Badminton blogger and sports article writer at .com
Involved with NGO activities and Women in networking chapter at work.
Awarded [unknown company name redacted] award of excellence twice at work. Known for innovation and commitment at work. Could get a strong recommendation at work and Badminton related as well.
Short term goal:
To work in a company which is rlelative small and is trying to make a footprint in a market where there are established players(preferably related to sports) or a big company which is trying to enter a market where it has least hold, to learn how they are planning on beating the competetion and establish themselves.
Long term Goal:
Would like to start a company targeted at making quality sport goods at a much lower price thereby decreasing the cost involved in taking up a sport as a full time career in india. This would also cater for starting more coaching camps across india increasing the sport base in the country and thereby i would be able to run a successful business and contribute to sports in the country as well.
Reason for choosing the schools:
I have very strong analytical and mathematical skills. Hence I have chosen schools that help me use my strengths for a better MBA in the form of finance and also a school that has its focus in admitting students with a entrepreneurial enthusiasm.
——————END REQUEST FOR FREE PROFILE REVIEW——————
Looks familiar, right? You’ve probably seen something similar yourself. Or maybe you’ve posted your own such requests. This came to us submitted through our “request a review” form where we invite BSers like you to send in essays for us to comment on publicly. We don’t actually invite requests for profile reviews there – it explicitly says in a number of places that it’s for submitting essays – and no file was attached to the submission. We’re guessing that maybe this exact post is floating around on those MBA discussion forums asking for comments, too?
We have no problem with someone sending over some profile information in one of these freebie requests to the ‘Snark.
The problem is that this person is asking us to do something which we’ve stated publicly we don’t do — not that we expect you to have read a post from 4 years ago. But have you ever seen a profile review here on the blahg? There are some, but it’s been awhile. Like, that one was in 2010. We just don’t feel it’s in your best interest to do them. Maybe the lack of them being featured here would tip you off to the fact that we don’t do them.
Or, sometimes we do them, out thar on them interwebs… when we’re feeling very bored and we are suffering from amnesia and we wander over to those boards briefly before remembering why we don’t go there – man those places have a high crap-to-quality ratio, all the misinformation sends the ‘Snark blood pressure through the roof in a jiffy. All that we ever say though is stuff like “You have a lot going for you! But these schools are competitive. Your GMAT score is [a little low / probably sufficient / risky]. It will all come down to how you present yourself in the essays! Good luck!”
The other problem is that there is literally no indication that this is even a request for assistance. No “Hi essay shark!” or whatever other variation of our name that a muddled mind might think up (we’ve seen ’em all). No “I’m wondering if you can help?” No “Hey there I’m Joe.” Not even a “Whaddya think ’bout these here goals Mr. Snark??????” No nuthin. Just “here is a bunch of data BOOM! howdoyalikemenow?”
Well BOOM! We can’t do anything with that. There’s no question here. There’s not even a vague offhand musing about anything. There’s just a page of text riddled with typos and laziness. You can’t even capitalize the word “I”? This is not a text message. (Pro Tip: How to Engage with EssaySnark)
So the obvious response to this is: HEY! Guess what! Didjaknow??
We’ve got this nifty service called the Comprehensive Profile Review!
It’s this cool little deal where you send in all of your detailed background information and we spend like a couple hours going through it in specific assessment based on you and your chances at the schools that you’re targeting. You can read about it here! Pretty much everyone who’s ever gotten one done has been very pleased with the help that it provides. You can see that from the remarks they’ve left in review. Yeah it costs money. But in order to give you an honest and accurate assessment of your profile, it requires time.
To the BSer who sent this: From the brief info provided, what will respond with is, Sorry but there’s a lot of work to be done if you’re serious about those schools.
Or we can just say:
You have a lot going for you! But these schools are competitive. Your GMAT score is probably sufficient. It will all come down to how you present yourself in the essays! Good luck!
We’ve probably lost another reader today. We know this process is stressful, and difficult. We don’t mean to be piling on.
But if you’re saying you want to go for the best of the best, then you need to be BRINGING the best of YOUR best. Get in the habit of excellence – even when just submitting a little old form on the anonymous internet – and it will spill over into all of your life.