We wrote an article a looooooong time ago for Yahoo! titled “Choosing a Business School is Like Dating.” (5/11/16 dang, it was at http://voices.yahoo.com/choosing-business-school-like-dating-10431933.html but the URL is now dead!)
We were inspired to revisit that apps-as-dating topic by Chicago’s @Booth_Insider comment on a Twitter chat that we talked about awhile ago. In response to a question from a candidate about “school fit” the Booth person said that applying to/attending bschool (they didn’t specify but it works for both) “is like a marriage.”
The dating metaphor actually works quite well for this whole bschool admissions dance.
You are attracted to a pretty girl (or boy – we’re using a girl in this piece, work with us please) and you decide to get to know her (attend an info session, visit the school). You decide you want to ask her out, so you get yourself ready by putting on some nice clothes and maybe adding a dash of cologne – not too much – and combing down your hair (GMAT, GPA, essays) – and then you realize that your hair is irredeemable in its current state and no amount of gel is gonna fix it, so you go get a haircut first (rewrite your essays), and then you ask her out (submit the app). She takes a look and says, “Maybe” and decides to give you a chance (interview invite!!!). You put on your best suit and you bring roses and you open the car door for her … OK EssaySnark is going overboard now but you get the point.
This is a courtship. You need to be bringing your best – and you need to show what you can offer to the other side of the relationship.
The way you demonstrate who you are in application essays is by being who you are. This means answering the questions in your own words, in natural language (avoid the stilted hyperbole million-dollar words fluff that people often write – please don’t put on airs in your essays) and it means giving details.
When your date asks, “What do you do?” You don’t say, “Stuff.” You explain your job in terms she can understand – without industry jargon gobbledygook – at a level of detail that is respectful and clear – not all the way down in the weeds of the mechanics of your day-to-day, just the right amount so that she gets it.
You don’t brag, but you’re not afraid to share with her your excitement about your achievements. When it comes from a genuine place, it’s automatically humble, not arrogant.
You’re respectful of her time. You don’t keep her out too late, you bring her home when she requested (you don’t submit essays that are overlimit).
You wait for her to contact you for the next steps. You don’t hound her and stalk her to pressure her into seeing you again. You’re not (ahem) pushy.
You see? It’s a delicate dance. Yes, it’s exciting, and you want to just go YOWZER I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU PLEASE TAKE ME!
But you don’t. You work through the steps of the courtship with care and patience, trusting that all will work out in the end, as everything always does.
Does that help you understand ‘school fit’, Brave Supplicant?
No, it probably doesn’t. But maybe it does, if you think about it. 😉
Intrader says
So consultants are like wingmen?
essaysnark says
That’s a new one!
Kaiser says
The fact that I have to pay $250 to the school to have them review me adds a slightly questionable tilt to the analogy…
essaysnark says
You don’t end up spending (way more than) $250 when you’re dating a girl that you like?
qshdz says
This is a good one.
I think the wait part is the most painful. When I was dating my wife I was trying to make sense of her every move, I didn’t know what she was thinking, she says one thing but she means the opposite 🙂
essaysnark says
Yeah, it’s actually a little like that with Admissions sometimes too – during the ‘courtship’ phase when they’re on their roadtrips and doing info sessions they are all lovey-dovey and inviting and wanting everyone to apply… they keep emailing you… nudge nudge wink wink.
But then you submit the app and… DOH! “I thought you loved me!”
But definitely, everyone says the waiting is the hardest part!
badtzmaru00* says
Women spend money when they date men too 🙁
essaysnark says
Nobody said they don’t!
badtzmaru00* says
After having done a lot of info sessions and campus visits, I have this to share. I will use MIT Sloan as an example but this is probably applicable to lots of schools.
I went to the general info session at MIT and felt it was informative at giving me the feel of how their adcom thinks and operates. For example, they said they know up-front many applicants are career-switchers and therefore don’t emphasize career goals; they also gave a practical tip that all apps are reviewed on iPads and therefore if you send a video it cannot be Flash based. Those were nice to hear in person but could also be gleaned from their website/materials admittedly.
Then I went to a second info session that was targeted at people interested in a certain topic–the Sustainability Initiative. This was much, much more helpful than the general info session. I met a professor, who was very friendly, accessible, open, and enjoyable to listen to. The current students + alumni panel at this info session was much more professional and prepared and well-spoken, they had more specific things to say about their summer internships and career paths too. I was almost going to not attend this info session due to my work schedule but I am so glad I did because I feel it can make a huge difference in my application. I also met a second adcom member who was forthcoming about giving essay advice and tips too. So, what I am trying to say is, going on “2nd dates” and looking for the more interest-specific info sessions is a great investment of time.
essaysnark says
Great to hear, Vivien. Those points you learned from the MIT adcom are covered in our strategy guide. Glad you got a chance to hear it yourself, that’s always useful, and the sessions on specific interests are certainly valuable. Keep us posted on your progress with everything!