EssaySnark

  • about
  • contact
  • help
  • sign up
  • login
CLICK FOR MORE!
  • Essay Questions
    • Harvard
    • Stanford
    • Wharton
    • Chicago Booth
    • Kellogg
    • MIT Sloan
    • Tuck
    • NYU Stern
    • Columbia
    • Yale SOM
    • Berkeley Haas
    • UVA Darden
    • Duke Fuqua
    • Michigan Ross
    • UCLA Anderson
    • Cornell
  • Strategy Guides
    • MBA Interviewing Guide
    • Getting Off the Waitlist
    • Applying in Round 3 mini-guide
    • Applying to European Business Schools
    • School-Specific MBA Application Guides
      • Columbia 2020 MBA Strategy Guide
      • Harvard 2020 MBA Strategy Guide
      • Kellogg 2020 MBA Strategy Guide
      • MIT Sloan 2020 MBA Strategy Guide
      • Chicago Booth 2020 MBA Strategy Guide
      • *MORE SCHOOL-SPECIFIC GUIDES HERE*
  • MBA Consulting
    • Free essay reviews
    • What stage are you in?
    • Military MBA
    • BIPOC Program
    • Testimonials & Reviews
    • Guest Posts
  • My SnarkCenter
    • My Strategy Guides
    • My Favorite Posts
    • Discounts & Offers

EssaySnark is American.

August 24, 2012 by EssaySnark Leave a Comment

We have a wide range of nationalities hanging out here on the EssaySnark blahg. The commonality is that you all want to get into a high-end Western bschool — if not Harvard or Stanford, then Columbia, or Ross, or UCLA — or LBS or INSEAD or one of the other great European programs. We also help out with the ISB quite a bit however they’re pretty Westernized, as Asian schools go. By contrast, we don’t help with IIM because it’s not our specialty, and there’s little demand on this side for it; there’s plenty of other local providers who can assist if that’s the school you’re going for. Same with CEIBS and the others. We’ve literally never even looked at an essay for most of those Asian schools.

What does this mean if you’re not American, or more broadly not a Westerner, and you’re seeking advice from EssaySnark?

It means you may get a crash course in American expectations. We’ve found that for some BSers, there are significant obstacles in navigating the Snark style which are largely due to culture.

BTW, most Americans are quite nice. EssaySnark tries to be nice too. We don’t always succeed. We are totally not saying that our snarkiness is cultural — you should not expect all Americans to be like us in that respect.

But yes we are snarky — oh boy can we be snarky. What triggers the Snark’s snark more than anything, we find, is the BSer who is overly passive.

Who expects to be spoon-fed.

Who comes to us with questions that seem rather obvious — specifically, ones that have already been addressed on the site.

We have a FAQ for that, you know.

There’s also an FAQ for subscribers (available in My SnarkCenter).

The product pages explain what the products do and who they’re for.

Sometimes our responses are a bit blunt. We get frustrated when we see you asking totally basic questions. We should not get frustrated — we admit this — you are only human, we should have more patience.

But the thing is, BSer, by being here at all, you’re saying you’re TOP BSCHOOL MATERIAL.

As in, an overachiever.

As in, a leader.

As in, not a follower.

As in, self sufficient.

As in, not clueless.

If you can’t follow directions – if you don’t think for yourself – if the first thing you do is pop off an email instead of trying to work out the answer on your own – you’re gonna get a chilly reception in Snarkville.

Some of you have mixed up the relationship somehow. We are a consultant. We don’t do the work of figuring out what your applications need to say. We don’t put the pieces together for you. They’re your pieces. This is YOUR life, people. How in heck should we know if you should talk about XYZ in such-and-such an essay? We tell you what good essays have in them, and what the bschools are looking for. It’s up to YOU to figure out how to make that happen for you.

We’ll certainly tell you if you’ve hit the mark — or if you haven’t. If an essay is off we will tell you why and suggest some ways to fix it. Or we’ll tell you that you should consider starting fresh. We’ll tell you if what you’ve got is salvageable, and we’ll celebrate with you when you’ve got it good. If you want someone to dictate your strategy for you, well, that’s a different consultant than us.

The other thing that irks us is when people say “Do you want me to do it that way?” or “I think you’re looking for this.”

No, Brave Supplicant. No. We are telling you what the adcoms tend to respond to.YOUR TASK IS NOT TO MAKE ESSAYSNARK HAPPY. (Lucky you! ‘Cuz that sometimes seems like an impossibility!)

You’re not writing essays to please EssaySnark (gawd no – reading essays is never something we look forward to – never ever ever – would that it were that way). You’re writing essays to present your best self to the admissions board, so that they can understand who you are and decide if you’re a good match to their program. You’re writing essays to demonstrate who you are as a leader, and as an accomplished individual in this world.

Please be that, starting now, in your interactions with us.

We give a lot o’ stuff here on the blahg, and in the essay guides, and in the App Accelerators. You are expected to leverage all the goodness we’ve already made available. It’s up to you to READ what we offer and LEARN from it and ADOPT that advice into your own strategy. Then we will REACT to what you come up with.

Some of this is cultural. Some societies train people to be passive, to wait to be asked to do something, to do what they’re told. Those societies have a lot going for them; there are definitely certain advantages to those cultures.

The United States is not like that. We’re about pull yourself up by your bootstraps and if it needs to be done, you should do it yourself . The American Dream and all that jazz.

If you’ve never lived or worked in the U.S. (or Europe), you may find yourself in trouble if and when you land at one of these bschools. We do things differently in the West. You need to learn to step up.

If the ‘Snark has offended you in email recently, we’re sorry. We don’t actually mean to be a jerk. We just lack patience (and, apparently, social skills).

You’re saying you want to play the game — well, the game is on this turf. Ya gotta get familiar with the lay of the land if you’re gonna have a chance to win.

Filed Under: general snark

« Previous: essay critique: HBS 1 “something you did well”
Next: ($) Do you even know what a VC does? »

So who the heck is EssaySnark, anyway?!

We're the snarky experts in MBA admissions!

Sometimes amused and often appalled by what candidates write in their MBA applications to top bschools, EssaySnark created this little blahg to share common mistakes. Learn from them and avoid making admissions directors laugh (or want to hurl) when they read your essays. If you are hoping to have your essay reviewed anonymously on the blahg for free, submit it for consideration.

Want EssaySnark's personal assistance with your MBA applications? Start with our menu of consulting services and please read the Help FAQ to learn how we operate. Still have questions after doing all that? Email Team EssaySnark at gethelpnow at essaysnark dot com.

Good luck on your apps, Brave Supplicant!

Tell us what you think. Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Sign up for the 'Snark via email

Enter your address to get weekday blahg posts by email.

UPCOMING MBA APP DEADLINES

  • INSEAD Jan '22 Intake Rd 2
    in 1 month, 2 weeks, 3 days, 16 hours
  • (expected) HBS Class of 2024 app requirements released
    in 2 months, 0 weeks, 0 days, 17 hours
  • (expected) Columbia J-Term/ED app to open
    in 2 months, 4 weeks, 1 day, 17 hours
  • INSEAD Jan '22 Intake Rd 3
    in 3 months, 1 week, 5 days, 16 hours
   
From a BSer January 2020:
"love the guide books!"


CLASS OF 2023 MBA APPLICATION STRATEGY GUIDES

     
    The 2020 Berkeley-Haas MBA Application Guide - updated for the Class of 2023 application!
SnarkStrategies Guide for Berkeley Haas - refreshed and updated, with brainstorming exercises and structured maps to help you focus your stories!
   
    The 2020-2021 NYU Stern MBA Application Guide that covers the main essay, the EQ Endorsement and Pick Six!
SnarkStrategies Guide for NYU - discusses your requirements for the Class of 2023 essays!
   
    The 2020-2021 Columbia MBA Application Guide
SnarkStrategies Guide for Columbia Business School for 2020-2021 applications
   
    The 2020 Harvard MBA Application Guide - completely overhauled and updated for the coronavirus era!
SnarkStrategies Guide for Harvard Business School!
   
    The 2020-2021 Duke Essay Guide - covers the 25 Random Things essay and all the rest too!
SnarkStrategies Guide for Duke Fuqua - up to date for the current season!
   
    The 2020-2021 MIT Essay Guide covers the org chart, the contacts for two references, and additional tips for the cover letter and 'introduce yourself' video -- and everything else you need to know!
SnarkStrategies Guide for MIT Sloan MBA - totally revised for the Class of 2023!
   
    The 2020-2021 Tuck Essay Guide has been refreshed with latest insights and advice for your essays about "investing generously" and "why Tuck"!
SnarkStrategies Guide for the Dartmouth Tuck MBA - completely overhauled for 2020, to help you demonstrate how you are nice, aware, etc stuff!
   
    The Yale SOM MBA Application Guide for Class of 2023 candidates!
SnarkStrategies Guide for Yale SOM - updated for 2020-2021
   
    The 2020-2021 Chicago Booth MBA Application Guide - ready to go to support your Class of 2023 essay strategy!
SnarkStrategies Guide for Chicago Booth for this year's MBA app!
   
    The 2020 Wharton MBA Application Guide - even more advice on how to get to a win with those essays!
SnarkStrategies Guide for The Wharton School - with new tips for 2020!
   
    The 2020 Kellogg Essay Guide - with a full methodology to identify your 'lasting impact' and your 'values' -- plus tips on 2020 world events and applicability to your essays!
SnarkStrategies Guide for Kellogg MBA - updated and revised for the new realities of 2020!    
      The 2020 Stanford MBA Application Guide - for "what matters most" in your MBA application!
SnarkStrategies Guide for Stanford GSB for the Class of 2023
   
    The 2020-2021 UCLA Anderson MBA Application Guide - updated for Class of 2023 on "impact"!
SnarkStrategies Guide for 
UCLA
   
   

Brave Supplicants' latest reviews on The 'Snark


Feb 11, 2021
by hopeful on MBA Interview Prep: Custom Practice Questions
Helpful

Just wanted to say thank you for these questions! A lot of them were really tailored to my profile, ... Read more

Apr 10, 2020
by George on EssaySnark
Great Starting Point

I thought getting over the GRE/GMAT hurdle was fairly straightforward--disciplined study then test execution... Read more

Apr 10, 2020
by George on Single Shot Express MBA Essay Review
Worth Every Penny

I used the Single Shot Express to decimate essay #1 at my first-choice school. Paired with the school... Read more






Not sure where to begin with EssaySnark?
Our Snark Selector
will tell you!



What were we snarking about at this time in past years?

  • 2020: The Fed and the virus
  • 2020: What you control in life
  • 2019: ($) "What can I do to improve my chances?" GMAT edition
  • 2018: Quote of the Day
  • 2018: The main argument in favor of a larger school
  • 2017: New "Add to Favorites" blahg feature
  • 2017: Plea for Help! "Maybe I'm not as qualified as I thought..."
  • 2015: *NOW* what are your reasons for going for an MBA?
  • 2015: ($) Everybody's at a disadvantage in admissions
  • 2014: Someone is starting early!
My Tweets

See the Top U.S. Business Schools on a Map!


EssaySnark is currently available! We're accepting new clients! Standard turnarounds apply. If you're in a hurry, Speedy Review is available!

EssaySnark® is a registered trademark. All content copyright © 2010–2021 Snarkolicious Press · Privacy Policy

Where should you start with EssaySnark?

Which EssaySnark service is right for you? Answer a few questions to find out!

This field must be set to Everyone - then in the Settings -> HTML -> After Fields screen there's JavaScript to hide it.
Sending