This post is marked as OLD. The strategies outlined here are still sound, since Kellogg still wants to get the same type of solid pitch from its MBA candidates. Go here for the latest-greatest in Kellogg MBA essays.
Can never do enough career goals essay reviews, now can we? Particularly since Kellogg has a unique flavor of one, that actually asks for backstory. Let’s see how another EssaySnark victim Brave Supplicant handles it: Briefly assess your career progress to date. Elaborate on your future career plans and your motivation for pursuing an MBA….
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Erin says
My comment doesn't have to do with this particular post but I figured I'd go ahead and bring it up. This topic is probably more appropriate for early-mid November after the R1 deadlines have passed, but my question is when do you recommend that applicants complete additional applications for R2 vs. just sticking with what was submitted for R1? For example, I applied/am applying to 3 schools for R1, but now I'm getting anxious that I won't have enough admitted options when the time comes. I'd know if I was admitted to some schools before R2 is due, but not all, and I wouldn't know about financial aid yet, and it'd be cutting it pretty close to not start essays until after some of the R1 decisions are released, so I can't completely just wait and see. But if I add schools for R2 I would pretty much have to forfeit a deposit from a R1 school if I changed my mind, but then again what's a $2000 deposit in the grand scheme of the cost of an MBA? So anyway if you could post a topic at some point about whether or not to apply to more schools in R2 that would be great!
Brave Supplicant says
Essay Snark,
Thank you for the critique. This essay has given me fits since July. Looks like I should kind of go back to the drawing board on this one. I need to tie it all together better. Will try to shoot you a revised version by the end of the week.
essaysnark says
Oh Erin you overachiever you – gotta love it. Good question, we'll see if we can address it separately.
And Brave Supplicant – GOOD! The drawing board will be your friend for a time, and EssaySnark will be waiting to see what you come up with!
Dan V says
Good Points, I was hoping to add my perspective as an applicant if it might help. I tried to touch upon all my advancements, accomplishments, and tidbits about myself in my goals essay but it didn't add value. It wasn't going to impress the adcom who was looking for defined career goals and a small background with a novel about myself and career. Essay snark pointed this out. I learned to pick the accomplishments and interesting tidbits that tied very DIRECTLY to my goals.
I'm writing to complain about yesterdays comment about “Average Joe applicants — like 710 GMAT and 3.3 GPA”… that hurts… 🙁
Dan V says
forgot to type the rest of my complaint. I still believe in myself even if you don't. No i'm kidding, just messing essay snark. Keep up the tips because even if you do hurt some feelings, you do it to help people improve and succeed.
Cassiopeia says
I'm also having a tough time assessing all of my career progress in this essay while giving adequate treatment to my career goals, reasons for an MBA, and reasons for a Kellogg MBA specifically. Is it necessary to give an assessment of each job one has held i.e. At xyz company, I started stuffing envelopes, and then at abc company I began writing the letters that were stuffed into envelopes or can it be more of a birds-eye assessment, i.e. “through the ebbs and flows of my career I've progressed from envelope stuffing, to stamp licking, to letter writing.” If one has had multiple jobs after graduation, then doing the former becomes quite a feat.
essaysnark says
Dan V – bring on the complaints! You realize of course that “710 GMAT” and “3.3 GPA” are literally “the average” stats for most top schools… (yes, OUCH!). And at the same time, EssaySnark is all about empowering the underdog!! We see bunches of Brave Supplicants get in with ~680s etc – and we've got fingers crossed for a whole slew of yous this year. 🙂
Cassiopeia – absolutely no need to mention every job – focus on the HIGHLIGHTS. Your birds-eye view looks pretty darn good as a start! You'd also want to give some indication of why you're now ready to pursue your career goals – so, something like “After doing such-and-such fabulous thing at my current job as a [title] for [company] in the past X years, I've developed this amazing skill and that amazing skill which are setting me up for blah blah blah”.
What you want to convey is a sense of how you've gotten where you are today by design – that you sought out specific roles/responsibilities in order to build specific skills/strengths, that have now set you up to be perfectly positioned to become a [S/T career goal] after you get your Kellogg MBA.
It does not have to be a detailed blow-by-blow; you've got the resume for that! (And essay 2.. be sure to leverage essay 2!)
Cheetarah1980 says
Thank you for the critique on my essay, ES! Aahh, this essay seems like I wrote it 2 years ago, not 2 months ago. I've said this elsewhere and I'll say it here (because you asked), after going a few rounds with Essay Snark over this particular essay I eventually wound up scrapping this version altogether and reworking a different (better!) essay. ES offered me a full critique for a mind-blowing deal. If there was one thing I got out of the pages and pages of comments: I wasn't being clear. ES interpreted a lot of what I meant to say or thought I was saying as something very different. Once I really clarified what I was trying to convey, new stories came to mind and the essay just came together. I'm proud to say that I am now a Round 1 ADMIT to Kellogg's Class of 2014!
essaysnark says
@Cheetarah1980, thanks for circling back, and once again, CONGRATS on the Kellogg acceptance! Obviously you were able to put Humpty Dumpty back together again and make it work in a big way!!! You're gonna be a great addition to the Class of 2014. 🙂