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essay critique: Michigan Ross career goals

August 24, 2011 by EssaySnark - Discusses Michigan Ross

>This was gonna be Essay Critique Week here at the ranch but… it’s more likely to be Essay Critique Two Days instead, since our ‘real’ (i.e., paying) clients have suddenly come out from the rocks they were hiding under and actually written stuff for us to look at. Here’s a midday post of a Ross…


While much of the blahg is available completely for free, the content here is reserved for members with full blahg access only ($9.95/month for six months, cancel anytime). Please login to view this content or purchase a membership.

Filed Under: career goals, essay critique Bschools: Michigan Ross

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Next: “failure” essays – a la Haas and Judge »

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We're the snarky experts in MBA admissions!

Sometimes amused and often appalled by what candidates write in their MBA applications to top bschools, EssaySnark created this little blahg to share common mistakes. Learn from them and avoid making admissions directors laugh (or want to hurl) when they read your essays. If you are hoping to have your essay reviewed anonymously on the blahg for free, submit it for consideration.

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Good luck on your apps, Brave Supplicant!

Here's what others have said about this:

  1. Tim says

    August 24, 2011 at 7:37 pm

    I guess I selected the wrong 'comment as' selection. I've already scrapped the opener and have started to work and make sure to get rid of my cockiness (is that how you spell that–looks weird).

    Thanks!

  2. essaysnark says

    August 24, 2011 at 9:05 pm

    Awesome! From your cover note to us, you didn't *seem* cocky… but sometimes, when people aren't accustomed to writing essays, then the wrong tone creeps in (after all, how many of you write essays for a living??). Thus, the value of getting some outside help! Glad you're putting it to use so quickly! 🙂

  3. essaysnark says

    September 13, 2011 at 10:19 pm

    EssaySnark is absolutely THRILLED to report that this Brave Supplicant has pulled off an amazing feat – we've seen his re-do of this essay and it's AWESOME. Talk about taking a snarky review to heart! Bravo! (Sorry, folks – it's so good that we ain't gonna post it.)

  4. Anonymous says

    September 14, 2011 at 6:48 am

    Hey ES!

    Im having toruble with Tuck's 4th essay. The one about "unique perspectives". Can you throw some light on that one.

  5. essaysnark says

    September 16, 2011 at 10:06 pm

    @Anonymous (the new one): This is really beyond scope for us to do it justice through blogger comments. We're gonna try and write up something substantive for you soon. Basically it's your chance to talk about your background; to some degree, it's similar to Columbia essay #2. If you happen to have the SnarkStrategies Guide for Columbia, you can find some goodies in there that also apply here (sorry for lame plug – not trying to do the upsell, honest!). We'll dedicate a full post to this ASAP.

  6. Anonymous says

    September 22, 2011 at 4:22 pm

    I am trying a rewrite but I was wondering. If in my essay preceding this essay I established that I am an accountant at a plant in rich products and on an internal consulting team, can I spare that explanation to save on work count. I want each essay to be self-contained and stand alone but its not easy with limited space and the layers of this story… maybe i have to reduce layers… Thanks.

  7. essaysnark says

    September 22, 2011 at 6:26 pm

    Hahahaha no Anonymous, you cannot save on "work count." You cannot save on word count either, not in this case at least. Need to establish everything up front in each essay. Do it briefly, but need to do it. As we experienced with this draft, your reader may be getting their first introduction to you through ANY of the essays – there's no guarantee they will go through the materials in any specific order. You can say something like, "As the one accountant on the team, I knew he was right about the costs…" as a reminder about your role, if you feel you're being too repetitive (need not be as heavyhanded as "I was an accountant at the XYZ plant. I was sitting in the room with my team. The other team members were Joe and Harry and Bob. I had worked there three years. Joe's dog's name is Scruffy. My astrological sign is Leo.")

    Oh sorry. What were we saying?

  8. Anonymous says

    September 22, 2011 at 7:22 pm

    But I want to make my "work count". I am a Leo but my dog is not Scruffy. You bring great points as always. I am just being stubborn. Advice taken.
    Thanks for you help as always!

    Please delete my last draft I sent you essay snark. Moment of weakness! That draft is hardly ready for your eyes!

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