EssaySnark knows you’ve been waiting for this… Instead of analyzing the HBS 2010-11 essay questions for you, this week, we’re critiquing actual essays sent in by Brave Supplicants. Here’s the first one, HBS’s “significant accomplishments” essay. If you’re applying to HBS this year and you want to get a free (though very public!!) review of…
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MSP says
Loved the crit. Thanks! It’s right on the money. I’ve got dozens of work examples that are much better leadership accomplishments but I guess I was trying too hard to force myself into picking 1 service, 1 personal, and 1 professional accomplishment. I’ll probably swap out the service one with another work example and focus the kayaking one to be more specific to leadership. I’m proud of my volunteer work but there is less of a specific leadership example there. Oh, and the Enron stuff was edited out in my last revision.
I’ll definitely work to clarify the actions of my accomplishments rather than just the outcomes. It’s hard to avoid the "consultant-speak" as you called it but I’ll do my best to use more straightforward language.
Thanks again. The HBS essays were the first ones I wrote so I didn’t have a good idea how to craft a cohesive story. I’m getting better with each essay. I'll keep reading your killer blog and I’ll keep learning…
essaysnark says
@MSP, we thought this was a solid start, so if these were first drafts of any essays ever, you should be in good shape! Tackling the HBS essays first can help get you prepared for other schools’ apps too: the HBS questions force you to dig up the important stories — ones that can often be repurposed (tailored) for other essays.
Keep us posted, we’re rootin’ for ya.
MSP says
Thanks essaysnark! I’ll keep you updated on my progress and hopefully things will go okay. I’ve probably learned more from this blog than any other mba application resources that I’ve used. While I’m not using an admissions consultant, I definitely can see the value that you (or the team of you) can bring to the process. Oh, and the HBS essays definitely gave me to confidence to tackle the Stanford ones and half of those don’t suck right now. 🙂
On a side note, why do you choose to remain anonymous? You’re obviously providing a great service to many prospective applicants and I would think you would want to leverage this blog to promote your services. Heck, if I ever decided that I needed a consultant’s perspective and I wanted essaysnark to help me out, I wouldn’t know where to formally go…