Hello you last-minute Brave Supplicants! EssaySnark is around a bit this weekend, however the admin team is not. Active clients can reach out through My SnarkCenter if needed; admin questions may need to wait till Monday (our FAQ may help you). We are still taking on new clients but you’re cutting it close!! Let’s get this thing started!!

($) Concentrated messaging is usually more impactful.

This used to be a bigger issue when there were lots of essays for each school, but even in the modern era of slimmed-down apps, it can still happen. Sometimes you have this one theme that you want to convey and you end up repeating it in multiple places, either within one single essay, or…


While much of the blahg is available completely for free, the content here is reserved for members with full blahg access only ($5.95/month, cancel anytime). Please login to view this content or purchase a membership – or return to the home page.

The (typical) futility of aiming higher

Around this time of year, amidst the Round 1 celebrations, we hear of some already-successful BSers breathlessly announcing their plans to submit more applications.

We covered this phenomenon last year, in a post where we talked about people getting excited about their successes to date and deciding to throw their hats into the ring for an even higher-ranked school.

This post is to report on the results that some of those BSers saw last year:

BSer #1 – admitted to MIT in Round 1 (while also denied from HBS same round)

  • denied from Stanford in Round 2
  • matriculating at MIT

(We actually have multiple examples of that.)

BSer #2 -

 UPDATE: Uhhhh…. apparently we got interrupted in writing this post and never came back to finish up the second example! If we recall correctly it was a case with a BSer who made it into Cornell in Rd 1 last year and then tried for schools like Kellogg in Rd 2… there was potential but nope, that one didn’t work out either.

These are obviously all success stories, and there’s no downside to trying again at higher-ranked schools – after all, maybe you’ll be different!! We did see one person last year who got into Wharton and MIT in Round 1 and tried for Stanford in Round 2 and actually got the interview, but as far as we know, was unable to convert it.

At the same time, we’re all about being practical and dealing in reality. We so rarely see a strategy like this work out. If you made it in somewhere great – somewhere that you research and hand-selected for a reason, because you like that place – then what’s wrong with sticking with your great good fortune and just calling it a day? More apps is not more fun (we’ve never seen someone do a better job on their subsequent apps after already having one admit locked up – the motivation is just not there).

Of course, if you’ll always regret that you don’t try at Stanford and you don’t want to be left forever wondering about what could have been, then sure, toss that app out there. We hope you’ll become the statistic that proves us wrong! When that happens, be sure to come lord your success over us. We will happily come back and update this post to offer your story instead.

Signed,

PartyPooperSnark.

Special Offer – Today Only! Get the Complete Essay Package and we’ll throw in ONE of the following as a bonus:


This offer will be honored as long as this message appears here. (Available for a few more hours on Thursday) Your window of opportunity for starting the Complete Essay Package in time for Round 2 is closing fast!

Purchase the Complete Essay Package now and we’ll send you instructions for receiving your bonus. If you choose the resume service, it must be purchased within 24 hours of receiving the coupon code. This offer is non-transferable; all terms and conditions of purchase apply – and sorry, this cannot be applied to any prior purchases.

($) The challenge of a leadership essay

We mentioned “leading a team” the other day and since leadership is such a fundamental component of a strong application to a top MBA program, we thought we’d go into some more details on it. Specifically, how to write a leadership essay for an MBA application. Which means, how do you present the details. We…


While much of the blahg is available completely for free, the content here is reserved for members with full blahg access only ($5.95/month, cancel anytime). Please login to view this content or purchase a membership – or return to the home page.

We’re getting lots of questions about timing: YES THERE’S STILL TIME TO GET STARTED WITH ESSAYSNARK! You could even go through the Complete Essay Package before Round 2 deadlines.

Standalone essay reviews are also available, with different pricing options for HARVARD, for one-essay app schools like YALE, CHICAGO BOOTH, DARDEN, WHARTON, or UCLA, and the standard full-set Essay Decimator (up to 4 essays for one school) which is great for COLUMBIA, TUCK, STANFORD, MIT SLOAN, NYU STERN, INSEAD, LBS, MICHIGAN ROSS, KELLOGG, DUKE, BERKELEY-HAAS, or for WHARTON if you are doing the optional essay(s). These are all the same service, just priced differently based on school and number of essays. We support *all schools* including Tepper, Georgetown, USC, UT-Austin, and anybody else you can name. However…. prices will be going up again soon! Get started now to gain the most from the process.

An example of how not to write about your background.

You may – or may not – know that Wharton got a new dean this past summer. Dean Robertson stepped down and Australian Geoffrey Garrett came into the role. We have been trying to discover what Dean Garrett will be doing at Wharton (we’ve been trying to find this out for months now; we do know that he likes to attend American baseball and hockey and tennis games — he had literally dozens of tweets about that Phillies game — guess it was important?) … and we wandered over to the About Wharton pages and found his bio.

And with that, a teaching moment for all of you revealed itself. Here’s the first paragraph of Dean Garrett’s profile :

Dr. Garrett was a member of the Wharton faculty in the Management Department from 1995 to 1997. Prior to his return to Penn, Dr. Garrett held several academic appointments. He was the founding CEO of the United States Studies Centre at the University of Sydney, and he later served as Dean of its Business School. Prior to returning to his native Australia, Dr. Garrett was President of the Pacific Council on International Policy in Los Angeles and Dean of the UCLA International Institute. Most recently he served as Dean of the Business School at UNSW Australia.

Question: Can you tell us, from reading this paragraph, what he did when? Can you figure out the sequence of positions he’s held? Are the “several academic appointments” a separate thing, or is that phrase meant to describe the jobs that appear thereafter in the paragraph? What, exactly, is his career history?

All you Brave Supplicants take note: When you’re giving your adcom reader an introduction to your background, and expressing how you’re qualified for the career goals that you’re describing in your essays… YOU CAN’T DO IT LIKE THIS.

His bio was not written for admission to bschool so it’s perhaps a little unfair to critique it that way – but it was written, we assume, to impress the reader. And it was written to COMMUNICATE.

Which is what you need to also be doing in your apps.

The main mistake being made with that is it is not in any order. You should be going either chronological, or reverse-chron — but you can’t do this jumping-around thing. Or if you do, you need to include clear time markers to your reader. Like, include the years. (On a resume, it should be listed with month AND year.) If you don’t do this, then the reader may suspect you’re hiding something.

Even if the sequence was clear, it’s still not what you want to be doing in your apps. Let’s say that again: You should never present your background in summary form like this in an MBA essay. The main reason is that your adcom reader also has your resume and work history available. That paragraph just offers a summary of the background for someone who DOESN’T have the resume. For an essay, you always want to go beyond the resume. Instead of just giving a linear recitation of the wheres and the whens, you would want to talk about the whys or the hows or the otherwise-relevant angles that gives your reader some insights. There are very very few cases in a bschool essay where it adds any value to literally walk through the background in this way, yet we see people doing it like that all the time. (We are not suggesting that Dean Garrett’s profile should be done differently; we’re trying to show you why you should not do it this way in your essays.)

Instead of just a fact-based list of positions held, what you want to do is to extrapolate a key event or contribution that you made, or some other point of significance about your time in that role, and highlight THAT. Yes, you should also be including the dates and details of which company and which job, but don’t leave it at only that superficial level. You want to be using the essay to go beyond what the adcom already has available in the other application assets.

It will require some thinking and revising and tweaking and fine-tuning to get this right. As basic as it seems, you can’t just slap down a few lines about your background and call it a day. It will need to be finessed.

And, pretty much any essay that asks you about goals – or about why you want to go to that school (such as Wharton) – you should be including some of this foundation material. You need to help the reader to see how the MBA and the future goals are appropriate for you, and that is best DEMONSTRATED with this sort of presentation.

If you want to see Dean Garrett in action, here’s a TEDx presentation he did in 2012:

 

(apologies to Dr. Garrett but that has got to be one of the most boring TED talks we’ve ever seen)